When she was five years old, her uncle was shot multiple times and died.

Six years later, her cousin suffered a similar fate. Those losses were a force that drove Okeina Tia Matthan, who was born and raised in Denham Town in western Kingston, to push harder.

Currently pursuing a bachelor’s degree in economics at The University of the West Indies (UWI), Mona, the Immaculate Conception High School alumnus is focused on blazing a honourable trail.

“The environment would affect anyone. Trying to make ends meet while constantly wondering if any shootings might occur is draining. The fear of losing your life or someone close to you losing theirs, is all too common. I’ve lost so many loved ones and friends over the years to violence and I can honestly say it doesn’t get any easier. Unfortunately, things have gotten progressively worse over the years but I just keep praying and hoping for the best,” 20-year-old Matthan told the Jamaica Observer last Wednesday.

In 2010, before the Tivoli Gardens incursion, Matthan was sent to stay with a relative in rural Jamaica. She said when she returned after the security operation, she never saw some of her male classmates and neighbours ever again.

Her mother, Kediesha Brown-Matthan, was 16 and attending the Convent of Mercy Academy “Alpha” when she was born.

“She is the one who basically taught me soft skills such as being kind, empathetic and polite. My father, on the other hand, instilled what is known as street sense in me. My parents were fairly stern, nothing that unbearable. I didn’t necessarily always like this, but looking back now, it did shape me somewhat. Though they did try to teach me a lot, they couldn’t teach me everything nor shelter me from the heartlessness of the world. I did learn a lot of things from my journey to and from school,” Matthan said.

She started out at Halibethian Early Childhood Centre in Tivoli Gardens when she was three. Afterwords, she moved on to Denham Town Primary School, now Edward Seaga Primary.

“A few of my friends and I would compete every year to see who would get the highest grades, most stickers and trophies at the end of the year. I won a few competitions, participated in many activities mainly because at the time, it was fun to learn and broaden my vocabulary. In our final year, I did receive titles such as top performer, and being on the honour roll which I had maintained throughout the years, as well as received funding to go to secondary school,” Matthan told the Sunday Observer.

After the Grade Six Achievement Test (GSAT), now Primary Exit Profile (PEP), Matthan was placed at Wolmer’s High School for Girls. But that’s not where she completed her secondary education tenure.

On the day that they were preparing to purchase uniform, her mother had received a call from the Ministry of Education, inviting her to a meeting and asked if she would prefer if her daughter attended Immaculate Conception High School instead, to which she immediately answered yes.

“I am so glad she did accept. I attended Immaculate Conception High School from September of 2014 up until July of last year. It was, honestly, a life-shaping experience that made me form some wonderful friendships and teacher-student relationships. I reshaped my morals, got rid of old unhealthy habits and formulated a new way to view life on a whole. I had so much fun and would relive it if I could,” Matthan said.

“I’ve always been told that nothing worth it is ever easy and that’s the reality. There are many days when I felt and still feel overwhelmed and want to give up, but I remind myself why I’m doing what I do. I not only want to create a better life for myself and family but also work towards the improvement of my community and country in the long run. Most of my experiences have something to do with school because I didn’t really go out much as I spent most of my nights working on something school-related or just surfing the net.”

Matthan lost her grandfather and granduncle a couple weeks apart in late 2016. That year, she said, really shook her up and put a lot in perspective for her at the same time.

“Especially because I was close with them both and basically had to watch my mother suffer. I couldn’t have made it this far without the moral support I got from family, friends and a few neighbours. The inner city can break you if you’re not strong-willed. Not only do you have to keep your eyes peeled for any unexpected events, but you’re battling the doubt, hate and all other negative connotations from the people in the area. I’m glad my family and friends are supportive but motivating myself was the final step.”

Matthan has her eyes set on a career as an economist, which she said she will then use to help in bettering the economy, and establish a non-profit organisation to give back to her community and country.

“I actually wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life up until about grade 10. I had fallen in love with economics and everything it entails because of my teacher Mr Jerome Pitterson,” she told the Sunday Observer.

“It is absolutely fundamental that you break away from stereotypes as a young lady especially in these modern times. Life is not getting any easier and people aren’t getting any warmer. As sad as it is, it’s the truth. A lot of women in my community that thought they are moving toward the concept of being independent, aren’t quite there yet but I’m glad to see the changes. We should really be more supportive of each other and let each other know how proud we are of one another,” she added.

Matthan, in a quest to push other inner-city youngsters to be their best selves, stressed that, “there is so much to do, so many new people to meet and places to see.”

“You just have to be open minded to experiencing and learning new things. Do not ever doubt yourself. The mind is out most powerful tool. If you tell yourself that things won’t go the way you want them to, chances are they’ll do just that. If you want to be a better version of yourself, work on yourself, motivate yourself and most importantly congratulate yourself for any success you may have; whether big or small, a win is a win,” she advised.

“Embrace and learn from your failures and mistakes. If you tried and failed, that is okay. Learn from it and do better each time. It’s okay to fail’ it’s okay to make a mistake; just don’t let them discourage you. Lastly, I would like to say, be patient. Nothing of good quality and worth is finished in a hurry. Don’t feel flustered or anxious because someone your age is better off. Everyone’s story is different so just be patient with yourself and don’t feel down because you don’t have all you want yet. Your time is coming.”