Thirsty housewives
THERE’S no one thirstier than a desperate housewife, men will tell you, especially men in the blue-collar industry who encounter them when they’re called to the homes for repairs. There’s a reason why dirty movies and romance novels centre on the pool guy or the plumber or the cable guy as the object of a lonely woman’s lust — it’s like once a woman gets a whiff of brawn and sweat, she can’t help herself.
What’s the most desperate move a woman has made? These blue-collar guys tell what they’ve experienced in the field.
Lennox, 32, contractor:
I got called by this lady who wanted some work done at her business. I went, looked at the premises, and gave her a rough quote and told her that if she wanted to proceed, I would refine it. As soon as I drove off she sent a message saying that she liked my car. Then when I got home there were several other messages, asking if I had kids, if I went to the gym, and stating how much she liked me. I didn’t respond because she obviously didn’t want any work done, she was just shooting her shot. I showed my wife the messages so she could see how predatory women were on these streets.
Peter, 38, tiler:
Showed up at this woman’s house to work on day two of the job and she greeted me at the front door in a robe, then opened the robe, and she was in her birthday suit. I just turned back, got in my car, and called the boss and told him to find someone else to do the work.
Marc, 30, roofer:
We were working on this woman’s house — older Christian woman. Each time we would finish one thing she would add on more work until we were there for months, basically totally rebuilding this woman’s house when all she wanted done initially was a one-room expansion. Of course, we didn’t care, because she was paying us. The other workmen would joke with me that she loved me, but I always laughed it off because this woman was like 50. One day she just came out with it and told me that she had a crush on me. It was awkward, but I just finished up the last of the work and stopped going inside the house for lemonade.
LJ, 33, cable repairman:
I’d just moved into this scheme with my family, and soon I was Mr Fixer Upper for the whole neighbourhood. It annoyed my wife, understandably, since most of the women had their husbands but still called on me. One particular woman would wait until my wife left in the mornings, then come knocking in a T-shirt only, asking me to do everything from fixing her light bulbs to drilling holes for curtains, to putting air in her tyres. And while I was working, she would just stand there, bra-less, making conversation like that was normal. I told my wife, and my wife began to give her the stink face, so she stopped. The others continued, though, until we just moved.