Love the skin you’re in

“YOUR life is a journey of learning to love yourself first and then extending that love to others in every encounter,” says American talk show host, television producer, actress, author and philanthropist Oprah Winfrey. And she has nailed it — life coaches and other experts have been advancing this mantra, that in order to really support, help and be there for others, you need to be OK with yourself first.

“This starts with loving the skin you’re in,” says life coach and actualisation specialist Yolanda Livingston. “There will never be anything more important than the relationship you have with yourself. There is nothing more important than taking care of yourself. People will try to make you feel bad for that, for being ‘selfish’, but you have to learn to put yourself first without feeling guilty, because it’s a necessity.”

Here’s a daily guide from Livingston for celebrating yourself each day of this week, as we close out May, and enter the month of June, with all its possibilities.

Monday

Build your confidence

Have you been wanting to make a move but you feel stuck, scared, afraid to take the first step? Today’s the day to get confident and do it!

“Trust in your own ability to control your life, and do what it takes to become more successful in your personal and professional life,” Livingston said.

First, remind yourself of what you bring to the table, and that everyone is running their own race and life isn’t a competition. Remind yourself of your strengths and successes and make that bold move.

Tuesday

Praise yourself

What are your strengths, what do you absolutely love about yourself? Take some time in front of the mirror and preen, appreciating all the things that make you uniquely beautiful. Muzzle your inner critic and appreciate your hair, your skin, your lips and your hips.

Talk to yourself about your strengths out loud — “I’m looking amazing today”, “Those squats are really adding definition to my butt”, “I worked really hard on that project”, “The dinner I put together last night was top notch”… self-praise builds self-confidence, helps reinforce positive thinking and behaviour, and erases all those negative stories we tell ourselves about ourselves.

Wednesday

Forgive yourself

It’s OK to feel guilty for having wronged someone, or feel badly for some ill, but what’s not OK is dwelling on it, even after the other person has moved on. Wallowing in remorse or self-pity is not productive, and it will eat at you if you don’t find the strength to move on.

“It may seem difficult, but letting go of guilt and shame is a necessary part of moving on from any mistake or embarrassment,” Livingston said. “Even if you cant turn back the hands of time and change what happened, you can change your outlook, and stop letting it consume your life.”

Today’s the day to finally forgive yourself— or at least try.

Thursday

Face your fears

Have you been wanting to approach your boss about that raise, thinking of quitting to branch out on your own, or thinking of asking that man out for drinks? Stop putting things off until you feel more confident. One of the best ways to love yourself is to face your fears, even when it terrifies you to.

“Even if you think you will mess up, do it anyway. Even if you think you’ll fail, do it anyway. Even if you think he’ll say no, ask anyway,” Livingston said. “Facing your fears and tackling things that scare you isn’t as bad as you think, as there’s nowhere but up from the bottom. And with each success, even minute, you’ll gain more confidence.”

Friday

Build better friendships

Take some time to reflect on how your friends make you feel. Do they build you up, or do they tear you down? Do they make you feel exhausted with their negativity, or are they a constant source of positivity in your life? Are they constantly judging you, or do they accept you for who you are?

‘Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are’ — the people you spend time with can influence your thoughts and attitudes about yourself, perhaps more than you realise. So spend today reassessing your circle, and if you feel overwhelmed, unhappy or exhausted after hanging out with a particular person or group, it may be time to say goodbye and start the building process afresh, so you can surround yourself with people who love you and want the best for you.

Saturday

Be bold

Speak your mind — be bold. Don’t wait for permission to take a seat at the table — take the head chair and take over the conversation. Know that your voice is just as important as anyone else’s, and your opinion matters. “A bold person is willing to get things done despite risks. A bold person will bend the rules and speak up, pairing action with knowledge,” Livingston said. “Part of taking action and creating a new persona is being bold, and there’s no time like the present to start.”

Sunday

Self-care

This should not only involve taking care of your physical appearance, but fuelling your mind as well. When you practice self-care, you know you’re doing something positive for your mind, body and spirit, and the results will have you feeling more confident,

So make an attempt to eat healthier, do some exercise, exfoliate, and meditate.

“Meditation (which can involve going to Sunday service) can help boost self-confidence as it helps you to pause and reflect,” Livingston said. “Meditation also helps you to disconnect from unhelpful things that are cluttering your thoughts, and prepare your mind to positively embrace the week ahead.”