Dumped, just in time for Christmas

IF you’ve noticed that your beau has become a bit distant lately, chances are he’s suffering from holiday anxiety, and like many Jamaican men, plans to hit the road soon, and maybe return after February 14.

It’s a situation many women are all too familiar with, as their men find some excuse to break up with them in this the season of giving, because they have nothing to give, or their gifts can’t be split between the multiple people they’re courting.

In 2008, the people behind the site informationisbeautiful.net compiled a chart of peak break-up times, which has been highly cited by news agencies, that signalled that Christmas was among one of the most popular periods for break-ups.

Based on Facebook status updates, the researchers found that two weeks before Christmas peaked highest.

According to relationship counsellor Wayne Powell, whenever break-ups do occur at this time, it’s a matter of the partner choosing a priority.

“People usually advance the argument that splits happen in the festive season as guys who have several steady girlfriends and a wife may have to temporarily terminate the relationships to avoid spending time with and having to buy gifts they can’t afford or didn’t intend to purchase,” Powell told

All Woman.

He said it’s also the time of the year when some people become overstressed and miserable, which leads to them being unbearable to be around.

“The offended partner may wish to stay away, causing potential for a possible break-up. When you have a couple with divergent interests, for example, one is a house mouse and the other a party animal, there is a potential for conflict especially when one partner is at home while the other is painting the town red coming in at 6:00 am during the festive season,” Powell pointed out.

He added that there could also be a rift between a partner and family member that could lead to a split around the festive season.

“When there is a strain in the relationship with the in-laws, possible conflicts can happen when family get-togethers are held. So there is definitely a high possibility of tension and conflict which may or may not lead to break-ups,” he said.

Powell said during Christmas many people tend to hook up more as they seek to enjoy the moment or the events that are occasioned by the spirit of the season.

“For some it’s the actual alcoholic (spirit) that makes them very liberated, disregarding any inhibitions they may have had before. It’s the time when a girl will go out with a guy she does not really care for, but because he is paying for the tickets to the event, she lowers the tolerance bar and moves the boundary lines,” he said.

He added: “For the guy, his mission is to dine and “wine” her. So many flings occur at this time. It is in the new year when the excitement wears off and reality sets in that the split may happen.”

Below, readers share their views on breaking-up during the holiday season.

Kerry-Ann Neil:

Those who do the breaking up are cheap, weak and disgusting. It’s simply because they don’t want to buy gifts or can’t afford to and don’t want to look bad. It’s the season of giving. If there was a genuine reason for wanting to leave other than being cheap, he would have done it long before Christmas. A nuh same day leaf drop a water bottom it rotten. On the other hand, I think even though hook-ups do happen, they happen on a less frequent scale during this time. Christmas is usually reserved for that special someone. Summers are for hook-ups.

Marie Hewitt:

A lot of relationships are sacrificed during this time, simply because there are high expectations from one partner, usually the woman, and the man can’t meet them. I think it’s tacky, because if both of you are serious the ‘small things’ will matter and the partner with great expectations would at least be willing to compromise. But walking away because of pride is ridiculous. No one wants to go through Christmas recovering from a break-up. As for hook-ups, I don’t think there’s a peak season for that, but if I was to be technical, you could say the same amount of hook-ups happen as break-ups do, because September is baby season, which would mean conception happens in December/January or thereabouts.

Rayon Deans:

It happens, but the men who do that are soft and cowardly. Why would you leave someone around this time or wait until the season catches you to back out? You must be able to forecast your finances and know how your pocket will be for Christmas. So if you are in the red, simply back out by the end of October, don’t wait till Christmas catch you, because then there won’t be any good mood. Hook-ups happen a lot at Christmas, too, because the weather is cold and everyone is in search of loving.

Cheryl Thomas:

He can leave whenever, just not before Christmas. Who wants to be lonely during that time? That’s not a great feeling, I’ve been there. Going three Christmases without anyone and not being invited anywhere or feeling awkward at events seeing everyone paired off, people getting gifts and you’re left shopping for yourself, it’s unbearable. So if you’re planning to break up with someone, do it way before the holidays or way after.

David Jones:

There’s no special time or perfect time for breaking off a relationship. I understand the hurt that will come with doing it right before Christmas or in the midst of Christmas, but if you’re unhappy, what must you do? Fake it through the most wonderful time of the year? Just be true to yourself. This thing about being cheap is true to an extent but not all cases are of such nature. Some of the break-ups that happen were inevitable either way you take it.