Confessions of a ‘former’ Bride

CONSIDERING Odette Soberam-Dyer never saw herself as the marrying kind, she certainly embraced the role superbly when she wed Godfrey Dyer this past March in an intimate, elegant ceremony surrounded by close friends and family.

Vows sat down with the newly-wed who had just returned from her honeymoon, to get the lowdown on planning your own wedding, and finding the dress of your dreams.

Vows: So you never saw yourself getting married?

OSD: People thought that I had been planning this wedding for years! But funnily enough I’ve always said that I wasn’t going to get married. Mainly it was because of my children, but I just never felt the urge to get married. In fact, I shied away from it. But when Godfrey proposed it just felt right. It felt natural. Everything came together perfectly.

Vows: Can the same be said for the wedding plans?

OSD: Oh yes. I am a very detail-oriented person. That’s me. That’s also why I didn’t need anyone to help in organising the wedding. Actually, I was never worried, or nervous at any time at all. Honestly, everything just fell into place.

Vows: You had a fairly short engagement, marrying seven weeks after the proposal, did that place additional stress during the planning stage?

OSD: I worked alongside the staff at Grand Lido, they were fabulous, but I just knew exactly what I wanted and what I didn’t want.

Vows: So what was it that you wanted?

OSD: First and foremost, when we decided to get married, Godfrey said he wanted a maximum guest list of 25-35 people, which was a bit impossible considering the number of friends we both have.

Vows: So how did you manage to keep the numbers down?

OSD: Well, I was realistically opting for a group of about 50 people, but when the word got out, people were bombarding us for invitations. I had heard about people crashing these things and begging for invitations, but I had never experienced it until now.

I made a conscious decision that it wasn’t going to go beyond a certain number. I wanted the day to be intimate and I knew that with Godfrey’s status it could go way overboard. But I didn’t want people there who were mere acquaintances, or people he just did business with and that I wasn’t familiar with. It had to be a group of people we were both comfortable with, because we wanted it to be fun, and very intimate.

Vows: Is that why you decided to hand deliver the invitations?

OSD: Yes, I wanted to personally invite those that I could. I also didn’t want them going through the mail because they were so beautiful, and I thought by the time they were received they would be ripped and torn. However, with the time span, I had no choice but to mail the ones overseas. In fact, one came back to us, because part of the address was missing. It was completely torn apart!

Vows: How did you go about choosing your wedding dress?

OSD: Again, I knew exactly what it was I wanted when it came to my dress. I didn’t want a normal wedding dress, per se. I am a practical person, and if I was going to buy a nice, beautiful dress, I wanted to be able to wear it again, and not just have it tucked away in the back of my closet.

Vows: So is it true that when you find your wedding dress, you just know?

OSD: Well, first I flew to Sacramento for a wedding show. There were tons and tons of dresses, but I didn’t see anything.

Drove around the next day, still didn’t see anything. I had made appointments in Miami on my way back to Jamaica, and the first one was Saks Fifth Avenue in Bal Harbour. When I walked in there, I still didn’t see anything. Then they said they had some dresses in the back that had just come in. I saw the dress and knew that was it. I knew because I had a mindset, I knew exactly what I was looking for.

Vows: How did you go about deciding on the other details of the wedding?

OSD: When it came to choosing a wedding colour, it was fairly easy. I am not a bright colour person. In my house I like white and off-white. So I chose ivory, and decided to match it with brushed gold, that interspersed with lots of greenery. And calla lilies are my favourite, they always have been.

Vows: And how did you keep it personal?

OSD: After the wedding we decided to go straight to the reception with our guests. I find that when I sometimes go to weddings they are too drawn out, too long. The couple can sometimes find themselves spending a lot of time away from their guests, and because we wanted to keep the whole thing intimate, we just asked for candid shots. We loved the spontaneity of the whole thing. That’s why we also bypassed the lengthy speeches. We just wanted everyone to chit-chat, catch up and really enjoy themselves.

Vows: We love how your sons walked you down the aisle. How did this come about?

OSD: I’m not fooling anyone. I am not a 20-something bride leaving her father’s house, but a mother who is actually leaving her children. Because of that I thought it was appropriate for them to give me away instead of my father.

Vows: And you opted against a registry, using the money instead to underwrite examination fees for high school students in need of assistance?

OSD: I am all about education. I’ve always done work for charities, and I always wanted to do more in terms of education. So we decided to make it about the children instead, that’s how I wanted to remember my wedding day.

Vows: You just came back from your honeymoon and we understand that it was a little different from the ‘usual’ honeymoon, tell us more.

OSD: Well, we went on a five-day cruise to Nassau, Coco Key, Key West and Miami, with five other couples! It was wonderful, we are a very close group and we did everything together; ate breakfast together, ate lunch, went on excursions together, ate dinner together, everything, except when we bid each other good night! It was also my birthday that week, so there was a lot of celebrating going on. They were all at the wedding, so it was a continuation of celebrations.

Vows: What tips or advice would you give to those brides-to-be currently planning a wedding?

OSD: Take it easy and move slowly. Sit and think about exactly what it is you want and don’t want. Allow things to fall into place, because sometimes we get so caught up in making everything perfect that we can lose it, that’s when it starts to unravel. Also important to remember you’re not Superwoman, don’t be afraid to ask for help.