Myrna Hague: Over the cancer trauma and searching
Myrna Hague is probably Jamaica’s best know jazz vocalist, with an international career spanning about 40 years, and a commensurate number of accolades. About a year-and-a-half ago, however, breast cancer threatened to cut her career (and her life) short, but after 15 months of surgery, chemotherapy and healing, Jamaica’s songbird is back home, philosophical, determined, and doing what she likes best – singing and performing.
1. You’ve been referred to a ‘Jamaica’s First Lady of Jazz’, do you consider yourself so?
It’s a very heavy title. When people start thinking of you that way they expect a lot from you and you have to live up to their expectation.
2. Last year or so was a rough time for you… how would you describe 2005?
Traumatic. It was a frightening time to be that ill, because you wonder a lot if you’re going to make it. I was away when I found out I had cancer. My husband and I do a European tour every summer, and when we were in England I checked in with a doctor I occasionally go to when I’m there. Now, before that, when I was in Jamaica, I had felt something, but I had exams at the time, then I was heavily into organising the Ocho Rios Jazz Festival, so I put off going to the doctor to check it out. But in England on July 23rd, when they discovered the cancer, it was all systems go. It happened really quickly, I mean all I had with me was one suitcase of clothes, and on August 15 I had my first surgery.
3. How did you make it?
My faith. I remember saying at one time, ‘it’s me and you God’, but we made it through. I don’t talk about it a lot, but I am a Christian, and I knew that lots and lots and lots and lots of people were praying for me. I know their prayers worked.
Now, I’m through with all my treatments, and now I just go for regular checkups.
4. Now that you’re out of the woods so to speak with the cancer, do you have any plans?
I don’t have any grand plans right now, because I think I’m in a questioning phase now. I need to figure out a lot of things. I’m trying to figure out what else. see, I think there is something more I should be doing – I can’t just go back to where I was before – but I haven’t yet figured out what the next step is. Although there is something dear and important to me that I must do. I was mid-way through my Masters’ programme in Cultural Studies when I got sick, so I intend to finish that. Other than that, no grand plans. I’ll tell the world when I figure it all out!
5. Are you going to keep singing and performing?
Yes! Of Course!
6. Why?
Since I was 14 years old I decided that I wanted to be in show business. I never wanted to be anything else. My siblings all went on to be lawyers, doctors, but I didn’t want that. I started singing because of all the artistic skills I have, singing is the most developed. And I’ve had a long and good career. I have no complaints about my professional life, and my audiences have been good to me. I’ll always be singing. It’s my career – it’s been my life so far.
7. What did you miss most about Jamaica in the 15 months you were away?
Friends. Family. The familiarity… being able to talk on the phone and really be able to talk about things. It costs a fair bit to call England, so although I’d get the calls, we really couldn’t talk the way we would out here, with the same familiarity. I also missed the little things. my home, my garden, even the annoying things about Jamaica you don’t really get elsewhere.
8. What has coming back home been like?
Well, since I got back to Jamaica in October I’ve done six shows. I’ve been working, practising, rehearsing, and putting my house back in order. My husband (Jazz musician and band leader Sonny Bradshaw) is a terrible housekeeper – most husbands are – so I’m taking the time to getting my house back together, to getting my garden and flowers back to life. I go to church, I talk on the phone to friends. Before I left I was teaching at the Jamaica School of Music, but I’m not sure I want to go back there just yet. It may be too much to take on right now. But I know I have to start working on my thesis soon.
9. What brings you joy?
To get up every day. To wake up and look around and see another day. to see my orchids, my garden, my friends, my family.
10. What makes you upset/angery/peeved?
Nothing much. Not now. When I was unsure about if I was going to make it, I thought I’d miss the opportunity to tell people about how much I cared for them. I think I wasted time having things upset me, but now I just want to give of myself.
One of the things I’ve always tried to do was not to be frivolous with my music. All the songs I sing, I try to make them meaningful – to touch people. And now it’s even more so. I don’t want my encounters with my audiences to be a matter of just passing time – I don’t want to waste time – I want it to be meaningful. I’m not going to be a preacher about it but I now value time a lot. That’s what’s real to me now. Time is precious.
– Interview by Olivia Leigh Campbell