It’s your work: Don’t stress
Putting workplace stress in check should be at the top of your to-do list. Learn the warning signs of job-related stress. It may be time to prep your resume to find a less stressful JOB.
I’ll never forget the day I found my then boss, a successful, driven journalist, hunched over her desk, grabbing her stomach, in pain from outpatient surgery the previous day. Instead of staying home for a couple days, as her doctor had advised, she was back at her stress-filled job. She looked askance at my plea for her to go home and rest, saying that I should “learn” from her dedication.
“Workaholism is often an escape from painful issues in the past or present that people don’t want to deal with. As a matter of fact, anything in excess [overeating, alcoholism, smoking and etc.] is often a symptom of deeper issues,” said Dr Barbara J Brown, a licensed clinical psychologist.
My problem: I’d spent the early years of my career stressed out, working I-need-to-prove-myself long hours, with little pay or respect offered for my efforts. Instead of looking for a new job, I foolishly thought my employer would reward my hard work and dedication with a raise and a promotion. But all I got was a wider backside from sitting at a desk 10 to 12 hours a day and the added stress of working in a high-pressure environment. I was on the fast track to becoming a workaholic. My family, friends, yes, even my husband, were playing second fiddle to my career.
After seeing the folly in my supervisor writhing in pain at her desk, I started making my overall wellness-mental, physical and spiritual-a priority. I shortened my work days, started managing my time better, delegated more tasks to others and, basically, stopped trying to be everybody’s superwoman. I also learned how to say “no” tactfully and not feel guilty. Lastly, I started looking for better career opportunities. As a result, my tension headaches stopped, the crook in my neck finally let up and I began to enjoy my relationships again.
The reality: Women aren’t strangers to stress and its effects. We assume it’s normal to experience high levels of distress. We pride ourselves on the ability to multi-task, being everything to everyone. Unfortunately, our can-do-despite-it-all attitude has been detrimental to our well-being.
“Self-care is not selfish,” said Dr Brown. “If we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t be able to take care of others. It’s important to get some balance by setting limits and boundaries at work and at home.”
Also, heed your body’s warning signs of stress before they develop into full-blown issues. Some of the emotional clues include anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, inability to concentrate, poor memory and irritability.
On the physical end, stress has been linked to constant sighing, weight problems, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, acne, hypertension and muscular aches and pains. Researchers also say chronic stress may worsen some illnesses, including cancer, kidney disease, stroke, ulcers and heart disease. The body – a complex machine-signals when it’s out of balance. But often we’re too busy to listen.
“I wish women valued their mental health as much as their physical [appearance]. I often see women when they cannot move the wheel barrel anymore – when they’re at a more severe [stress] level,” said Dr Brown.
It’s important to manage the stressful situations in your life-time pressures, household responsibilities, work and financial pressures or, eventually, they will begin handling you, stressing you to your breaking point. Balance is key, said Brown.
Of course, there are some high-stress events that may not be within your control such as physical injury or the death of a loved one. However, coping with the unforeseen will be less traumatic, if you already have some stress-management techniques in place such as meditation or prayer and exercise.
Also, get in the habit of talking about your stressful situations with someone you trust-a friend, spouse, pastor or mental health professional. Letting go of your stress this way will help release its power over you. You may also get some great coping strategies in the process.
“While some of the old notions of mental health still prevail – ‘All I need is God’ or ‘I have to be really sick to see a psychiatrist’-, it’s mostly that people are afraid of being labelled,” said Brown. “Whether it’s through church, yoga, family, support networks, psychiatry or another entry point where you can get guidance, it’s all helpful.”
So the next time you feel yourself slipping into an abyss of stress remember to relate, relax and release. Don’t internalize the tension because it could end up negatively affecting your health. Sister, without your health, what have you got?