Sex during pregnancy ‘blissful’
The best you will ever experience,” a close friend of mine tells every pregnant couple he knows.
This has been his experience based on the birth of his two children.
“With my wife’s first pregnancy I was initially very nervous about the whole thing. I worried that it would hurt her or the baby. But when we discussed it with the midwife, she told us to go ahead as long as the pregnancy proceeded normally. We made love up to the day before she gave birth,”. he said.
While he speaks freely on the topic, he did not want his name published so we will call him Jerome.
According to him, he had been advised by their medical practitioner that making love was actually a habit to be recommended during pregnancy as semen had a substance called prostaglandin, which would help to ripen the cervix and so make labour easier.
“This took a load off and after that we had a ball. Her second pregnancy was however a little more difficult though and we stopped about two weeks before she gave birth. She was heavier and the baby carried lower so she had a little pain at times,” he said.
Many medical practitioners will tell you that it is safe to have sex once you are having a normal pregnancy (one that’s considered low-risk for complications such as miscarriage or early labour).
If however your doctor, nurse, midwife, or other pregnancy health care provider anticipates or detects certain significant complications with your pregnancy, he or she is likely to advise against sexual intercourse. The most common risk factors include:
* a history or threat of miscarriage
*a history of early labour (you’ve previously delivered a baby before 37 weeks) or signs indicating the risk of early labour (such as premature uterine contractions)
*unexplained vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping
*leakage of amniotic fluid (the fluid that surrounds the baby)
*placenta previa, a condition in which the placenta (the blood-rich structure that nourishes the baby) is situated down so low that it covers the cervix (opening of the uterus)
*incompetent cervix, a condition in which the cervix is weakened and opens prematurely, raising the risk for miscarriage or premature delivery
*multiple foetuses (you’re having twins, triplets, etc.)
Once you are given the okay however, that does not necessarily mean that you will want to have sex. For many partners especially the women, the desire to have sex fluctuates. For some women though the desire may also be heightened or totally decreased.
One major fear that couples face is that sex will harm the baby. Experts however say that your baby is fully protected by the amniotic sac (a thin-walled bag that holds the foetus and surrounding fluid) and the strong muscles of the uterus. There’s also a thick mucus plug that seals the cervix and helps guard against infection. The penis does not come into contact with the foetus during sex.
Another major question is ‘Can intercourse or orgasm cause miscarriage or contractions?’ In cases of normal, low-risk pregnancies, the answer is no. The contractions that you may feel during and just after orgasm are entirely different from the contractions associated with labour.
Some couples list the following as some of the joys of sex during pregnancy:
* Being turned on by increased breast size or rounder buttocks
* Love of extra weight and roundness of partner’s belly.
* Freedom from contraception concerns.
* New ways of pleasuring.
* Fun of finding new positions.
A couple’s attitude towards sex will greatly determine how they treat each other during this time. A great deal of communication is essential here. If either partner is uncomfortable or has doubts about sex at this time, then it is important to discuss it.
If a decision is taken to abstain, it is important that the couple does activities that will encourage intimacy — spend time together, dance, cuddle or pet.
Massaging is a definite plus in building intimacy. Talking from experience — nothing beats a shoulder and foot rub as soon as you get home from a long day at work. Using olive oil on the back and belly of a pregnant woman is also bliss. This, most times, will get her relaxed and ready for other things (smile).
Many men complain that they can’t please their partners during pregnancy
“She is miserable. She will tell you one thing and then change her mind or she might forget what she is doing. Sometimes you just don’t know what to,” another male friend said.
Well, it is key that you talk, talk, talk — once she shares how she is feeling with you — the sex will most likely soon follow.
One other thing medical experts advise, that if you engage in oral sex, your partner should not blow air into your vagina. Blowing air can cause an air embolism — a blockage of a blood vessel by an air bubble — which can be potentially fatal for mother and child. -IM
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