What a piece of work is a man,

How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties,

In form and moving, how express and admirable,

In action how like an angel,

In apprehension, how like a god.

— Shakespeare

What a powerful and flattering tribute that quote is about men. It always brings smiles to my face whenever I see it, but beneath that smile is a bit of trepidation, for I’m sure there are many women who would totally disagree with it.

“I really wonder which man him is talking about, certainly not mine.”

But others will appreciate it and bask in the positive description and accolades heaped upon the male gender who are often vilified, cussed, berated and smeared. That’s why I always say, “I am a man maligned and misunderstood.”

Still, this is not about me, but rather about the stages that countless men go through before they depart this mortal coil. They say once a man twice a child, but what they didn’t say was the various stages that a man goes through between babyhood and manhood, and of course, falsehood.

There’s also a theory that men never really grow up, but remain boys all of their lives. So, as I promised after describing the different stages of women in the timeline of women, today it’s men moving from babyhood to falsehood, the odyssey, the changes that men go through.

But first let’s see what these readers had to say about my spiel on ‘Women’s timeline’.

Hi Teerob,

A remarkable article. Yes, some women are living such a timeline and aren’t even aware of it. Some are in denial and it also depends on which society they live in. I hope that budding females would read this article so that they can take it seriously and go on to live a positive, beautiful and fulfilling life with a purpose so that they can inspire another generation. And yes, men do have a timeline too.

Carol

Hey Tony,

A woman’s timeline is perhaps the most important thing that a man ought to know, and also her, if she’s to act accordingly. If she’s too young and acts above her age, she’s called force ripe. If she’s too old and acts below her age, she’s called modda young gyal. It’s recognising what stage in life that she’s in and acting accordingly that’s important. Good stuff brother.

Roger

Okay, now on to the various stages of a man’s life, or boys in the hood as that movie was titled a few years ago. Women keep on saying that their lives are difficult, far more difficult than a man’s, as they suffer from menstruation to menopause plus pregnancy and all other challenges that they have to go through. I shall address that another time.

But today, it’s all about the various stages that a man goes through and the changes that go with them. First it’s the babyhood stage, and from the outset the odds are stacked against him. Female babies have a stronger chance of survival than boy babies, so that myth about males being stronger is just that, a myth. The survival rate for females is much higher than for males.

Nevertheless in this babyhood stage the child is affixed to his mother’s breasts as he suckles to his heart’s content. Is this an indication of things to come when he grows older and is obsessed with female breasts? I still know adult males who will fall asleep sucking on their girlfriend’s breasts, so my theory is not that far off.

In the childhood stage he may not be so much into girls, but that is a very brief period, for by the time he grows older into the boyhood stage, that changes. His curiosity is more than that of a cat’s and he’s very much into female company. At this stage too, he’s very adventurous and prone to take risks, always does daring stuff like rough and tumble sports, building pushcarts, climbing trees, jumping off buildings, and riding bicycles.

All these will be enhanced whenever girls are present, so put a boy on a bicycle and a girl is present and watch him do daredevil stuff and crash. But hold on now, I’m describing the things that I used to do as a boy growing up in Harbour View, and also while at St Aloysius Primary School. I doubt very much if modern-day boys would attempt any of that exciting stuff.

But the point is, that’s what constituted the activity during boyhood back in the day. As a boy grows older into teenage years, his interest now turns even more to the female sex, females are now his entire world, bordering on obsession, and his world revolves around girls. Girls, girls, girls, are now on his mind and most other things take second place. Parents should recognise this and make sure that the boy acts responsibly and not get too carried away in his pursuit of the opposite sex. Don’t freak out, but accept that it’s a natural stage of boyhood.

It’s when he approaches manhood that the fire in the man roars and burns fiercely. Manhood, manhood, manhood, say it over and over again, for it can be one word or two words juxtaposed.

During manhood, which is, say, between 20 and 30 years old, the man is on a sexual warpath, and he’s taking no prisoners. It’s a time when a man has to sow his wild oats, see what life is all about, explore unknown territories and enjoy pleasures of the flesh.

Now you’re going to chastise me for saying this, but I’m just stating the facts. It’s the time when men run up and down, flitting from nest to nest, depending, of course, on their libido, as all men were not created with equal appetites.

Nevertheless, it’s recommended that a man gets it out of his system during that time, for if he doesn’t, he’ll live a life of regret when he finally decides to settle down.

“Boy, if I had known I wouldn’t have settled down so early.”

During manhood though, when he finally settles down, he has to be responsible, so after age 30 to 35 is when he shows the maturity and responsibility that come with being a real man. At this stage he may assume the role of husband and father.

It’s a very important stage in a man’s life, and he will handle it better if he got all that pent up sensuality and sexuality out of his system during the early stages as I mentioned earlier. At this stage he should be able to deal with almost any challenge and eventuality that comes with relationships.

The worst thing that he can experience is to live like a monk during those electric years, then settle down with one woman for the rest of his life. What memories will he have, what reference will he call on, what past pleasures will he have to reflect on?

Many husbands who had no such experience in those early manhood years now seek them while they are married, and lo and behold, the marriage mash up. So ladies, perhaps that’s the best time to latch on to that type of man, get him at the right time after he’s sown his wild oats.

“Been there, done that, I can relax now.”

Now, the final stage is falsehood, and sad to say, many men experience this as they get up in age. At this stage many men are living a false existence, living in the past, reminiscing on what they used to do. Many times those memories are distorted and embellished due to the fog of age-withered memory. Basically they are legends in their own minds.

As one lady said, at this stage, the man’s penis is overrated and underperformed. This often applies to those players now in their late 60s to 70s who are still on the streets. It usually relates to men who never settled down, or had broken marriages and are now back on the streets.

But the streets have changed, and so has he, but sadly he doesn’t know this. He still seeks out young women resembling those who he used to seek out many years ago. The women have changed, but the type remains. But they look like his daughter or even his granddaughter, so young are they.

He doesn’t care, but his actions are pathetic. He frequents watering holes, bars, clubs, social gatherings and surrounds himself with those young girls who look like they just left high school. He’s the one spending the money, buying the drinks and food, often spending more than he can afford. Ah, a fool and his money at a party are so easily parted.

Those falsehood years can be so sad for many of those men, for even though life has passed them by, they didn’t get the memo. Some men are aware though, and just recently a good friend of mine told me that when he gets older he wishes that he would lose his sex drive. He reasoned that by losing his libido it would keep him from chasing after young girls.

I told him, “You must be careful what you wish for,” as it’s quite possible that as he grows older and that wish comes true, he may become involved with a lady who has her needs. Where would that leave him?

“Say what, you wished for what? Well, I’m outta here.”

He’d truly have a falsehood.

But back to those men in their falsehood; women laugh behind their backs, even as they lead them on and laugh at their jokes when in their company. Ladies, avoid those men, but as a matter of fact, you haven’t got to, for if you’re of a certain age, they won’t even look in your direction for is young gyal dem want.

So from babyhood, childhood, manhood to falsehood, that’s the journey that men take. Unfortunately, some get stuck at one stage or another.

More time.

seiso1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: Hospital for sinners, hotel for saints, that’s what’s been said about the church. Has the church lost its relevance, is it losing its appeal, its pull, its ability to offer faith and refuge? So many questions about the church nowadays. There was a time when going to church and Sunday school was a joy for young people, but not so much anymore. Why is this? Too many distractions, social media influence, lack of parental guidance? I shall have to explore this. Shifting pews, there’s heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, metrosexual, and now there’s moneysexual, a new term that I recently learned. That, too, shall be explored.