Political Football League: Orange v Green
Dear Editor,
Last Monday’s local government elections could be likened to an epic FA Cup football final matchup between Liverpool FC and Manchester United, two of the top teams in the English Premier League.
To avoid infuriating many of my friends who are diehard supporters of the aforementioned football teams, I will not say which of the two are demonstratively represented by the Jamaica Labour Party (JLP) or for that matter the People’s National Party (PNP). Nevertheless, this matchup in the local government elections was long overdue, and both parties went into the contest brimming with confidence of victory.
The PNP, or the ‘Orange Party’ as they are called, under new manager Mark “Markie G” Golding was considered the underdogs going into the contest, having suffered a humiliating defeat in their last contest against the Andrew “Brogad” Holness-led JLP, known to all and sundry as the ‘Green Party’.
Despite being handicapped by inactivity of some senior team members, who are said to be out due to age and/or injury, coupled with the loss of two of their top strikers, Robert Montague and Andrew Wheatley, who are currently out on suspension, the Green Party was nevertheless considered overwhelming favourites going in.
With their supporters turning out in their numbers, the Orange Party, in a dramatic display of political wizardry, was able to outmanoeuvre and outperform a seemingly unmotivated and despondent Green Party, which for the greater part of the contest looked jaded and confused, as the Orange Party came at them with everything they had.
Midway through the contest the Orange Party, in a skilful display of ‘ball-ot’ possession, was able to silence the supporters of the Green Party with some accurate and precise passes in the box. These moves resulted in one popular on-air radio commentator going as far as to declare that the Orange Party has all but won the contest, which sent shock waves of disbelief vibrating through the camp of the Green Party.
Whilst there was shock and disbelief amongst supporters of the Green Party, there was eruption of excitement and celebration taking place amongst jubilant supporters of the Orange Party right across the island.
The excitement and celebrations of the Orange Party was, however, short-lived, as the Green Party came roaring back in a gallant display to tie the contest, resulting in the Orange Party calling on the officials to do a thorough review.
Whilst that review was being conducted there was a reported off-the-field incident involving veteran player Everald Warmington of the Green Party, who incidentally was on a yellow card. Warmington was captured on camera making ill-advised comments aimed at a junior team member of the Orange Party, resulting in him being issued with a red card, which no doubt will see him sitting out the rest of the season on the bench, much to the delight of his many critics.
Grossett Barrett
grossett.barrett@gmail.com