Dear Editor:

I have not heard the word “donkey” in donkey’s years, but I was reading the newspaper and saw that Prime Minister Andrew Holness did not make an ass of himself a couple weeks ago when he promised one of my parishioners a donkey so she could have a reliable means of transportation — promise made and promise kept with alacrity.

One wonders whether this ass was grazing on Jamaica House lawns for some time because, given the rarity of such creatures these days, this was a quick find. The role of artificial intelligence in this is yet to be revealed.

Kudos to you Prime Minister Holness!

There is, however, one thing you should have done. You should have flown home for the handing over ceremony and establish your political messiahship by riding the donkey down to Parliament with outriders, bell ringers, and Labourites chanting, “Blessed is he who cometh in the name of Seaga.” That gesture would have dumbfounded the Comrades. They wouldn’t have been able to find a sankey to sing fast enough to drown out the merriment.

So let me be amongst those who can conscientiously applaud you, Prime Minister, and laud you for your quick action, being true to your promise, and rebranding this endangered animal.

We may very well need to resort to this beast of burden, for their hoofs may handle the roads in the island better than the front-end of any Prado or Tesler. The expense of buying and maintaining cars in Jamaica has become prohibitive. Parts are costly and many of those who have ambitions to acquire a motor vehicle are now parking them.

Donkeys seldom fail their owners, and I believe that Prosperity — the name of the donkey — is going to give yeoman service to my fellow parishioner who can now transport her food and chickens without the encumbrance of the taxis.

When I was a child, donkeys were our local means of transportation. Everywhere I went it was my faithful Jeannette that transported me. She was a real beast of burden, carrying ground provisions, carrying water, and carrying me and company. She was my favourite pet. When she died from complications related to delivering twin cubs, I was so broken. My mother replaced her with a newer model call Jack, but bonding was hard. She willed it subsequently to my brother Kirk, and since then I can’t recall having any contact with donkeys. This generation, by this kind act, will now learn about donkeys in their civics classes. As a youngster, the donkey was a symbol of middle class status and you could lend, borrow, or rent a donkey.

There are a few good reasons why donkeys should be brought back to the fore:

*They would be a source of support to the agricultural and transportation system.

*They help to ward off diseases that would affect cattle. Most cow farmers would keep a donkey with the herd so that black leg and anthrax would not come near their cattle.

*It is a blessed animal. Jesus rode it into Jerusalem and exalted it above all other creatures.

*They are easy to manipulate and are faithful to their masters.

*They seem to have more energy than a turbocharged engine.

*They are reliable sources of manpower in construction, transportation of goods and services, as well as water, even their dung is A-one manure for the soil.

I could enumerate more; however, let me again applaud the prime minister for allowing Prosperity to become a national symbol of what prosperity looks like in Jamaica. By the time his reign shall have come to an end, he would have made it possible for middle class Jamaicans to afford a jackass parked in their front yard.

If I were you, I would call the election now. Call it, Andrew, and go around the island spreading the prosperity gospel — and get a good artiste to sing Ride Yu Donkey by the Tennors.

blpprob@aol.com