A parent should have a conversation about online porn before they decide to give their child a device or give permission to create a social media account to prepare them for the risks.
More than ‘birds and bees’ talk — Part 2
The fact is, online porn is here to stay. So, where do we go from here to find a balance?
While some European countries have tried to regulate the proliferation and access to it through various laws, most have been struck out as citizens argue that censorship infringes on their freedoms and democratic rights. Similarly, however, it’s argued that protecting our children and teens from information their brains are not ready for is also a fundamental right.
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How do we implement sensible solutions to tackle the saturation of online porn which assists our children in making conscious and sexually responsible decisions while combating the horrors of child sexual abuse and the reality of teenage pregnancy in our society?
First, we must be honest with ourselves and face the reality that our boys and girls are making different sexual advances to each other. Furthermore, many teenagers are not only sexting with provocative images and conversations, but are experimenting sexually before they are mature enough to handle the psychological consequences of being sexually active. In addition, others are exploring the world of same-sex relationships, which for some are forced upon them.
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I recall one of my staff members telling me that her 13-year-old daughter had been “rushed” by a group of girls who made sexual advances to her when she went to the bathroom during her lunch break at school. The little girl immediately told them she was not a lesbian, but this did not prevent them from stalking her the following day.
This is why current, up-to-date, and realistic compulsory sex education in our primary and secondary schools curriculum is so urgent. What’s more, sex education can no longer be about showing the human anatomy and describing how puberty impacts a teenager’s hormones and desire. Our children are far more sexually high-tech and visually exposed as a result of major porn platforms that do not want to cooperate with age verification and, consequently, leave their content freely accessible. Plus, parental controls can be circumvented with a VPN, and children know how to hide or delete their search histories.
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A survey in 2017 by Plan International UK found 75 per cent of 2,000 respondents interviewed in the UK believed that teachers should address the harmful impact of pornography that is easily accessible online, as well as the trend of sending indecent images and explicit messages via text, which has now become “the norm” in schools. “Parents are simply demanding that their children’s education reflects the 21st-century reality of their lives,” indicated Tanya Barron, chief executive, Plan International, February 2017.
A Bill Johnson poll published several years ago in Jamaica found 72 per cent of Jamaicans interviewed placed the responsibility on the Church to impart virtuous sexual practices, whereas 69 per cent suggested that the classrooms were where sex education should be taught. Only 12 per cent of the 1,208 respondents in the poll said the onus should be placed on parents alone.
But is teaching sexual education a moral obligation or a practical educational responsibility? In other words, is the Church the correct lead on these matters? How will the Church react to a new instrument for sex education that teaches young people about anal sex, for example, since our laws criminalise anal sex? Yet, last year five young men all forcibly entered a 13-year-old girl through her anus in my constituency. The charges were filed as buggery and grievous sexual assault, not rape. Why? Because in Jamaica, rape is still limited to vaginal penetration by a penis; non-consensual anal sex is not classified as rape. Therefore, technically, a boy cannot be raped in the eyes of the laws of our country — neither a girl who is forced to have sex through her anus.
In 2018 I refused to sign a joint select committee’s report on updating the sexual offences in the Offences Against The Person Act as I felt it didn’t go far enough to confront the contradictions in our legislation regarding boys and girls. Although the committee heard submissions from over 20 stakeholder groups — many of whom supported the redefinition of rape to include boys — some evangelical and Christian groups concluded that any redefinition of rape was an attempt to circumvent the existing buggery law and promote homosexuality in Jamaica. Sadly, the definition of rape was never changed in the final report tabled on December 11, 2018.
I will also never forget in 2017 when Superintendent Enid Ross-Stewart, head of the Centre for Investigation of Sexual Offences and Child Abuse (CISOCA), told a joint parliamentary committee that it was pastors and policemen among the leading, ‘high-profile’ perpetrators of sex offences against children. What Ross-Stewart said was chilling. Since then we have witnessed several pastors being charged with the sexual abuse of minors. Perhaps it is time for the Church to acknowledge the hypocrisy of reconciling this data with its stance on some issues relating to sexual behaviour, including the definition of sexual intercourse, contraception, and matters surrounding the termination of pregnancies for a minor.
In addition, the current trends and practices of what many teenagers are engaging in possibly surpass the wildest imagination of the Church and what they consider to be virtuous sexual practices. As such, let us keep the crucial business of redeveloping and implementing compulsory sex-ed curriculum in our schools to trained experts with the specialised certification in this area.
When do parents come
Parents are the ones who have the ultimate responsibility for guiding their children. Ideally, a parent should have a conversation about online porn before they decide to give their child a smartphone or give permission to create a social media account to prepare them for the risks. However, if a parent does not feel equipped to discuss such a sensitive topic with their child they should engage in trusted external support.
Also, porn should not become a taboo subject to discuss in your home. Otherwise, a child may feel awkward about raising with a parent explicit content they may have seen that’s confusing their emotions. Strategically, a parent should not overreact, resort to extreme punishment, or seize their child’s device immediately if they come across porn, either accidentally or deliberately. Instead, it’s better to explain why watching adult content too young can be harmful.
Finally, reinforcement is vital. Children and teenagers must understand that the acts of sex and the actors’ bodies as depicted in most porn videos are not realistic. This is why creating a safe and trusting home environment is important, as often children want to share things with their parents but do not always feel they can. So parents must exercise patience with their children. The world is a confusing place in which they face extreme pressure, and the last thing is for them to feel stressed at home as well.
Lisa Hanna is Member of Parliament for St Ann South Eastern, People’s National Party spokesperson on foreign affairs and foreign trade, and a former Cabinet member.
Strategically, a parent should not overreact, resort to extreme punishment, or seize their child’s device immediately if they come across porn, either accidentally or deliberately.
