DEAR DR MITCHELL,

I’ve been married for 10 years; my husband and I are in our early 30s. We have been trying to conceive for the last four to five years now. We both went to the doctor and found out that we both have issues. I did what I had to do and followed the doctor’s orders, but he refuses to do as the doctor recommended in order for us to have children. I try to convince him, but he says he won’t be taking the medication that the doctor gave him. It depresses me so much and I feel so worried and stressed. What can I do?

I am truly sorry to learn about your inability to become pregnant for the past five years. It is also unfortunate that your husband has refused to take the medication prescribed and will not follow the advice given by your doctor.

He has to come to terms with whether he wants to have a child and recognise the need for his involvement. You should both go for counselling and speak with someone who he will listen to. His refusal to follow the doctor’s instructions may be an indication that he does not want to have children.

You will also need counselling as it relates to the relationship since your marriage will be severely stressed if he continues with this behaviour.

You should also discuss with him the option of using donor sperm and artificial insemination if he does not take the medication. He would have to be in agreement if he will be required to father the child.

He might have fears or concerns about having children so this needs to be discussed in an open and honest manner so that you can both move forward.

The option of adoption is also another means of raising a child without going through the process. He would still need to be in agreement with this decision if the marriage is going to survive. Make an appointment with a counsellor and have an open and honest discussion about the way forward.

Best regards.

Dr Sharmaine Mitchell is an obstetrician and gynaecologist. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com; write to All Woman, 40-42 1/2 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5 or fax to 876-968-2025. All responses are published. Dr Mitchell cannot provide personal responses.

DISCLAIMER:

The contents of this article are for informational purposes only, and must not be relied upon as an alternative to medical advice or treatment from your own doctor.