‘I knew I had to survive’
I am Kimberley Hamilton Brown and I’m a Christian, a wife and a mother of two beautiful girls. I’m also a registered nurse for over 18 years and a woman who was diagnosed at the age of 38 years in April 2021, with stage 3B, HER2-positive breast cancer.
Life before this diagnosis was typical but great. I went to work, sent my children to school, went to church, made family and friends time, did household duties, love on my amazing husband, vacation — I was just living life.
Prior to my diagnosis I experienced intense itching to my breast but attributed it to my menses. Then when that ended and the itching continued, I became suspicious and something said to me, ‘you know what, check this out’. I believe that “something” was really “someone” — the Holy Spirit.
I have fibrocystic breast disease so lumps were normal for me, hence not a red flag. I also noticed that even though my breasts were never identical twins, they started looking like distant cousins, size wise. So I did a mammogram. The radiographer immediately suggested an ultrasound. He happened to be the doctor as well who sat us down and explained his findings. He made some calls, and within two days, after seeing a surgeon oncologist, my diagnosis was officially made. I have no family history and genetic testing came back negative.
Needless to say, all this was like a whirlwind, but I knew that outlook had a lot to do with recovery after seeing the differences in patients with positive versus negative mindsets. So I went immediately into fight and survival mode.
Treatment was hectic and expensive. I lost all my hair, I lost weight and there was a point where I needed help to do basic activities of daily living like bathing, going to the bathroom and even getting dressed. After chemotherapy, then I had to prepare for surgery. I was ready to remove my breasts because if any part offendeth thee cut it off. I know that’s not what that means, but you get the picture. The reality of breastlessness hit after the surgery, but having a good support system and a spouse who still looked on me like the first night of our honeymoon helped. It helped a lot.
Radiation was very challenging as well. There were days when I felt really low physically and emotionally, but it caused me to dig deep spiritually and rely on the word of God. Also the prayers of close family and friends hemmed me in on those days I was truly too weak physically and spiritually. Isaiah 41:10 was also a scripture I held on to. “Don’t be afraid for I am with you, don’t be discouraged for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (New Living Translation) So there was never a day I gave up hope, because I knew I had to survive, for my girls, for myself and because God said so.
During and since, I resolved I would not let my circumstances change my personality. I love to laugh, sing and to make people comfortable and happy. So no matter what, Satan would not steal my joy.
To other women, despite your age, ask to be screened, impress upon your doctor that this is a desire as early detection is key, as statistically more and more women below age 40 are being diagnosed. If you are currently facing a diagnosis, remember God is able, and if you don’t have a strong support system, reach out. There are many support groups of survivors willing to help, because even though everyone’s treatment and path is different, love and support has the same face.
I also want to big up my A class medical team and to my relatives and friends who truly made me feel loved and cherished.
Tomorrow is promised to no one, whether or not you have a terminal illness, so regardless, we should be living as such. Live, laugh and love, and be a blessing to someone.