It’s a well-established fact that children live what they learn, and so it’s extremely important that parents be aware of the messages they transmit by their actions. Too often in the Jamaican society, this is thought to be primarily the mother’s role. But children need to see their fathers’ behaviours and be influenced by them as well. Especially in the area of finances.

Start from an early age

Legendary investor Warren Buffett has never shied away from expressing the role his father played in his success. His dad, he has said, impressed on him the importance of efficiently handling personal finances at an early age. The billionaire businessman started at the tender age of six to go from house to house selling chewing gum and magazines and buying six-packs of soda for 25 cents and selling back each individually for five cents.

“What I learned at an early age from him was to have the right habits early. Savings was an important lesson he taught me,” Buffett once said in an interview. “Sometimes parents wait until their kids are in their teens before they start talking about managing money — when they could be starting when their kids are in preschool.”

If, as studies are suggesting, children begin to develop basic concepts relating to future financial behaviours by the age of seven, it stands to reason that they will take their cues about money from their mothers if their mothers are their role models. If the child learns shame and lack associated with money by a mother who is always scrambling to rub two coins together, then the child will develop their mother’s habits surrounding money, which can eventually filter down and lead to the phenomenon of persistent poverty that Jamaican economics professor George Beckford addressed in his book of the same name, referring to third world plantation societies.

Help your children to develop healthy relationships with money

Too often parents don’t think about the money habits their children will develop. Even if you are no longer with your child’s mother it is imperative that you help your child to develop positive money attitudes. One of the ways to do this is to pay child support on time and be generous with it. Remember that there’s a difference between being careful with money and being stingy. Don’t use money as a tool of punishment for your child’s mother; this develops negative reinforcement about money in a child which will stay with them well into adulthood. Similarly, a cavalier attitude towards money will only instil an obnoxious and cavalier attitude of entitlement in your child.

Another important area that fathers can help their children with is making them understand the difference between price and value. With the undue influence of social media, kids need to understand that price is what the market says something is worth, while value is what the item is worth to the person. So, while an influencer who gets paid by a big department store to advertise their expensive item of clothing can try to push that article, say a sneaker, for an exorbitant price, it’s for the child to figure out what the shoe is valued to them personally, whether it’s a fad that they’ll be over in the next three months, discarded at the back of their closet, and so they must decide whether the price is worth it or not.

A father can also help his child to differentiate between wants and needs. This age that we’re living in makes everything seem so immediate, so necessary. But children need to understand that not every purchase is expedient. Even if you are financially able to buy them whatever they ask for, let them learn what is necessary and what isn’t, and more importantly the consequences for their actions. You can drive home the point, by making yourself an example. Let’s say you and your child are enthusiastic gamers and want to purchase a boatload of games this summer. But there’s also a situation with your roof that needs expensive repairs. Even if you’re financially able to afford both things, consider showing your child, by example, the importance of prioritising needs over wants by opting to get the roof fixed.

Bottom line

Children learn best by the examples you set. Don’t get fooled into thinking that example-setting is the purview of mothers. Dads, today is the day that we honour you. But you can use the day to recalibrate how to also honour your children. Remember, the gift of instilling healthy financial habits in your children is one way of not just showing them you love them, but also ensuring they are on the path to a sound and successful future.