3 Generations
Multiple award-winning, UK-based singer/songwriter Rachel Kerr is in celebratory mode with the release of her highly anticipated debut album Masterpeace. The entertainer, whose Jamaican parents are well-known gospel singers Dalton and Joy Kerr, has also unlocked a new level of life, as a first-time mum.
Her story is a victory chant — a celebration of triumph over fear and insecurity and a lesson the MOBO award winner hopes will resonate with listeners worldwide. Through her music, she has always emphasised her unapologetic approach to life by being hopeful and inspirational but also unafraid to tackle the ugliness of being real. Even with the distinct honour of performing for US president Bill Clinton and UK prime minister David Cameron, one of Kerr’s greatest achievements is entering the world of motherhood.
The Style Observer (SO) recently caught up with Kerr to talk about it.
Rachel Kerr (RK): Our daughter’s name is Grace; choosing her name was easy for my husband and me. She is every mother’s dream: the powerful culmination of prayer, goodwill and unconditional love.
SO: When did Grace make her grand entrance?
RK: Grace was born in London during the COVID-19 lockdown in May 2021. With everything that was happening in the world at that time, our seven-pound bundle of joy came at the perfect time — we feel so centred and blessed to have her in our lives.
SO: What was your reaction when you initially found out you were pregnant?
RK: I’ve always been the kind of person who understands the significance of process, progress, journey, and joy. Whilst I was grateful that there was life inside of me I was still very mindful that we had nine whole months and then the delivery to go. I didn’t want to rejoice too early, so I only shared the news with my husband who, like me, also knew that it was time to really pray that what God had started He would be faithful to complete. So whilst there was gratitude there was [also] a sober calm as we understood the journey ahead.
SO: What are some lessons you’ve learnt from your motherhood journey?
RK: It’s definitely been a season of changes and hope. I have learnt that the decisions I make, whether big or small, will impact my legacy through my daughter. I’m not prepared to be less than 100% for her and my household. When it comes to the organisation of my home and the systems in place to make sure everyone thrives, I dare say I have become just a little more militant since she was born. She has definitely taught me that I have the capacity to do, to give and to be so much more because I want to ensure she has the best role model in me. Being the best version of myself now includes evolving to meet her needs, and motherhood is a responsibility that I take on with great pride.
SO: What are some of the things you were prepared for regarding motherhood?
RK: Motherhood is about intuition and preparation, and I have been so fortunate to have great parents and a solid example with my own mother. In my close friends’ circle, I’m also grateful that I am one of the last to have children, because I’ve been able to benefit tremendously from witnessing many of my friends’ transition to become mothers. As a result of watching their journeys, and coupled with being at a good place in my life generally, I was prepared to share my life physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally with my daughter. At the same time, I still understood the significance of not losing the essence of who I am to the role of motherhood.
SO: What are some of the things you’ve found surprising about motherhood?
RK: Motherhood is manual labour! It is an all-in, all-consuming experience. The adjusting is not easy, especially when you have the desire to do it well. I guess I was surprised by how much it physically requires from you: changing, carrying, breastfeeding, bathing, dressing, travelling, and other things. As I always joke to my husband, “This parent thing is not for kids!”
SO: What advice would you offer to expectant mothers?
RK: If you’re pregnant, sleep without guilt, eat well and go for walks. All these things kept me sane at a time when we were in a pandemic, with lockdown that seemed to change everything about the way we live and socialise.
I would also say to establish a supportive network of people and clearly define who is going to do what for the first few months of your baby’s life. You’re going to need that support system, so that when the baby arrives there is no uncertainty or disappointment from friends and family members. It really takes a village.
Plan things to look forward to, particularly events that enhance your sense of self-love. Hot baths, nail and salon appointments, dinner with friends, exercise — all of these things are important just to keep the essence of yourself. Being a mum requires a lot, so it’s only when you feel at your best that you can give your best to your child and your family.
Don’t be afraid to speak positive things over your baby before they are even born. Spoken word and affirmations are so powerful and the life inside, you respond to that positivity. Even during your delivery, speak life into what kind of delivery you want to have and hold fast to that. I always said I wanted a pain-free delivery, and it might sound crazy but that’s exactly what I received. Everything is possible when we speak and believe.
Finally, I subscribe to the Caribbean tradition of oiling your tummy religiously — I did it every morning and evening, and I’m glad to say after doing this I avoided pregnancy stretch marks.
SO: What are some of the lessons you learnt from observing your mom that you are now applying with your baby?
RK: As a child, my mum played no games when it came to making sure we were well-dressed, well-fed and had structured lives. Whether it was dance lessons, swimming classes, making sure lunches were packed and we had clean clothes, she was on point. She used to say this phrase my grandma would use for her children: “They never asked to be here, so I must do my best by them.” This is absolute my vibe for my daughter. I don’t play when it comes to Grace’s sleep routine, planning extra-curricular activities and the general structure of her life. I just want to do my best by her as was done for me — it’s the greatest generational gift that I hope can be passed on as a sacred family tradition in the future.
— Tenille Clarke
Tenille Clarke is an avid storyteller, seasoned publicist and cultural enthusiast from Trinidad and Tobago who often writes about her ongoing love affair with travel, entertainment and culture through a Caribbean lens. Follow her digital journey @tenilleclarke1 on Instagram and Twitter.