Your love language identifies the way you like to show and receive love. Essentially, identifying you and your partner’s love language is one of the simplest things you can do that will have an important impact on the happiness of your relationship.

Let’s face it, if you’ve ever felt like you’re speaking different languages when it comes to how you communicate love, you very well might be!

Many a book has been written to help couples learn the different love languages. One such is: The Five Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman.

In summary, people experience love in different ways and have a preference about how they receive and communicate love.

Today we’re going to explain what the five love languages are, what they mean, and how they can be used in daily life.

What are the five love languages?

The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and physical touch. All relatable. But, which one resonates the most?

Author Chapman categorises five ways romantic partners give and receive love. Whilst it is important to know your own love language, it’s even more effective knowing your partner’s. Here’s how to know your love language:

1. Words of affirmation

Persons who connect with this love language find value in feeling appreciated and loved through verbal acknowledgements. It shows affection through words; this includes lots of “I love you’s”, compliments, encouragement, and frequent communication when you’re apart from each other. These words will also help to build your partner’s self-confidence by allowing them to feel worthy and loved. If this is your partner’s love language, be conscious of how you speak your love. They will appreciate receiving compliments and having honest discussions about your relationship.

2. Physical touch

Physical touch doesn’t just mean intimate time with your partner. If this is your love language, you feel fulfilled when you receive affection from your significant other that include all kinds of physical touch, from hand-holding in public to cuddling at home. Having physical intimacy is a core factor in any relationship but is of utmost importance to those with this love language.

3. Acts of service

Acts of service are having small tasks done for you and when your partner takes the time to do things that make your life easier. Lightening a burden for your partner will truly be appreciated. For example, you may value the moment that your partner swoops in to save you from the piling up of work that you have to deal with, doing tasks like taking out the trash or handling dinner plans while you are preoccupied.

4. Quality time

Individuals who prefer quality time cherish the opportunity to enjoy each other’s company uninterrupted. I’m talking undivided, screenfree attention, such as taking walks or catching up over coffee. Someone with this love language, prefers eye contact, active listening and having their partner’s full attention when they’re together. Be conscious that they receive your undivided attention (that means for them: turning off the TV, putting your phone down and eliminating other distractions).

5. Receiving gifts

Gifting is a universal human practice. It’s important not to mix this up with materialism, as the price of the gift does not equal the level of happiness. In this case, to people who value gifts as a love language, gifts symbolise thoughtfulness and send across a powerful message of love. Therefore, it’s not necessarily about the item as much as “my love was thinking of me”. Don’t stress about buying them the most expensive gifts — big gifts, little gifts — they can all be special and meaningful; it’s the thought that counts. This act proves that they intentionally bought something because they knew it would make you happy.

The bottom line

Love languages are useful tools to improve how we communicate and express ourselves to each other. By learning your spouse’s love language, you are showing that you care about them and want to show them love the best way possible. Take the time to figure this out.

Join me next week to find out cool ways to show your love language on your wedding day and how to incorporate them into your love story.