You’ve asked and we’ve answered! Welcome to your weekly column ‘Planning Your Happily Ever After’ with wedding consultant Shikima Hinds.

Like other bridal party members, younger members also have a role to play.

Flower girls and ring-bearers are meant for much more than being simply adorable. Most often, nieces and nephews are chosen for this role in the wedding ceremony, or children of close friends. If the wedding couple already has children, this is a lovely way to include them on the special day.

These roles are part of a long tradition that helps to add magical moments to your wedding but they are optional.

What age is best?

It’s important to pick children who are the right age. While it’s cute to see a two- or three-year-old take centre stage, there’s a reason why professionals suggest that children should not be younger than four years old. By that age, they have more ability to understand directions, expectations and follow them through.

Ring-bearers

Ring-bearers are responsible for taking the wedding rings up the aisle for the ceremony. They often precede the flower girl, but they can escort the flower girl up the aisle.

The rings are usually carried on a ring pillow or in a box. Invariably, the best man keeps them secure in his pocket for safe-keeping, while the ring-bearer pretends he has them, just in case of any mishaps.

The little boys should wear mini versions of the groomsmen’s attire. NB: The bride and groom should offer to pay for the ring-bearer’s outfit.

Flower girls

The flower girl meanwhile helps to direct the attention of the guests to the main attraction — the bride. Traditionally, a flower girl will toss flower petals from a basket before the bride walks up the aisle. Typically, these little girls wear mini versions of the wedding dress. Do ensure that the dresses are age-appropriate. NB: It’s important that the bride or groom offers to pay for the flower girl’s ensemble.

Flower girls and ring-bearers add charm to your wedding, but, because they are children, they require some additional attention. Here’s how to keep them smiling and make the process easier:

1. Include the children in the rehearsal.

2. Use the buddy system by pairing up the ring-bearer and flower girl.

3. When both reach the top of the aisle, have someone show them where to go. This is usually to sit with their parents or other family members.

4. Show them what you mean. Demonstrate that throwing petals on the floor requires a gentle toss. The same for the ring-bearer; show him how he should hold the pillow.

5. All eyes will be upon them, so tell them what to expect ahead of time, rather than scare them moments before they commence their walk.

6. No outfit, however adorable, is worth being itchy or uncomfortable; consider this for the little ones.

7. Plan ahead. If you are clothes shopping in advance, remember, children, grow fast. Purchase attire the size they will be at the time of the wedding, not the one they are now.

8. Pass time wisely. There’s a lot of sitting around on the day of the wedding and the little ones are sure to get antsy. Plan for simple activities and mess-free snacks to help pass the time.

Wedding couples with lots of youngsters in the family may have a hard time picking just one or two children for the roles. No need to worry, you can include more than one of your favourite little people on the big day! If you’re having multiple flower girls or ring-bearers, understand that everything won’t be seamless. Regardless of what happens, your ceremony will go on, and surely, the innocence of the situation will make guests go “awww.”

If your littlest attendants aren’t outside the toddler age, having them ride in a wagon is an adorable way up the aisle, especially if one of the other children is old enough, they can pull the wagon.

The most important thing is to be sure the children know what to do and how to do it in the right ways.