How. Are. You. Three words that together form the most perfunctory phrase in the English language. We either ask and we don’t listen for a response, or we use the phrase as an entrée to barrel through the laundry list of woes and joys we each carry like a cage of pigeons, waiting to let loose with only a second’s pause. “How are you?” is modern shorthand for, “Wait, let me tell you all the changes I’ve been going through….”

For those who care, here’s a primer on how to “How are you?”

Ask the question with empathy. Put emphasis on either the “are” or the “you”. You’ll hear the seismic shift in meaning when you say it out loud. Different, isn’t it?

Make eye contact. We are all masked up these days and so no doubt we’ve learnt the mastery of the eyes. When you ask someone the question, don’t look past them. Look them straight in the eye, and await the unfolding.

Listen to the response. Be present in the moment to really hear what is being said. You may be the best opportunity someone has to make a human connection. Honour that trust.

End with optimism. However they are doing, the subject of your question will treasure encouragement, a little nudge that it all will be okay.

Because, after all, it will be.