They have beenAt a great feast of language,And stolen the scraps.— Shakespeare, Love’s Labour’s Lost

What is Wi-Fi? I bet that most people outside of the telecommunications industry do not know what Wi-fi stands for. Well, Wi-Fi stands for wireless fidelity and is actually the same thing as saying WLAN, which stands for wireless local area network.

Wi-Fi works off the same principle as other wireless devices, it uses broadband frequencies to send signals between devices. These frequencies are completely different from those in walkie talkies, car radios or cellphones.

But enough scientific jargon about the complexities of Wi-Fi, the fact is, it’s here, it works, and it’s a huge part of our world, Wi-Fi world. And just as the quote above infers, Wi-Fi offers such a feast, but so many people merely take the scraps.

Wi-Fi gives us the world at our fingertips, yet so many users do not tap into its true potential and instead use it to indulge in mindless, moronic, meaningless frippery that takes them nowhere.

Happily, there are people who do not, and as they partake of the feast of languages, they consume the choice cuts that Wi-Fi offers and leave the scraps. Wi-Fi world, that’s where we travel today, right after these retorts to ‘Pleasing, pleasuring, satisfying women’.

Hi Tony,

Most men, not just Jamaican men, are impatient and just want to get to the finish line without jumping the hurdles. Some women are impatient too, but if men were properly pleasing and pleasuring their women, the women would become quite patient, leading to mutual satisfaction. Hindus in ancient times studied the Kama Sutra to learn the many positions available to both men and women, as well as learning the rules for sensuous and sensual pleasure. Good things cum to those who wait.Krishna

Tony,

Some men just don’t get it, and that’s why they hardly get it, if you know what I mean. They seem to think that the rougher and harder the act, is the better it is. I am yet to meet a man who takes the time to really please me. Sure, I do enjoy the act occasionally, but I still end up wanting more out of it. Sometimes the actual cut and thrust is irrelevant if a warm tender embrace does not precede it.Fiona

All the talk nowadays is about Wi-Fi, who has it, who needs it, who wants it and who should get it. Now, in this world of COVID, there is even more emphasis being placed on Wi-Fi as more people are maintaining physical distance from each other. Yes, I prefer to use the term physical distance as social distance is somewhat of an oxymoron.

Now, instead of meeting in a room as we used to, we now meet virtually, via a Zoom platform, where we can be in different locations, different cities, even far away countries and still have a meeting, albeit a virtual one.

This has its pros and its cons, for there is no personal touch, no physical interaction, no warmth. Plus, you have to be extremely careful what’s in your background, as many people have been embarrassed by what takes place behind them as they participate in their virtual Zoom meetings.

Some have been literally caught with their pants down as they dress properly only from the waist up and then inadvertently get up from their computer, only to expose their privates.

“Er, Mr Jackson, your briefs are exposed, not the legal ones.”

Ah bwoy, privates suddenly gone pubic, as the Zoom meeting falls into disarray.

I saw recently where this big-time journalist for a major US corporation was fired from his job after 27 years just because he exposed himself during a Zoom meeting. Maybe you could say that he was coming even as his bosses had him going at the same time.

People have been known to have naked spouses walk behind them by accident, as they take part in these Zoom meetings. One advice is to sit or stand before a wall, and not before a bathroom or bedroom door. What a hell if a man sees his naked wife walking behind his boss during a Zoom meeting. I told you that there were pros and cons in Wi-Fi world.

All these meetings are not possible without Wi-Fi though, and many people not only live in the Wi-Fi world, but are slaves to it. Wi-Fi turns our cellphones into tools of education, research, pleasure, communication, entertainment and so much more that its world has to offer. Without Wi-Fi our phones would be nothing but simple instruments to speak into and listen. They wouldn’t be so smart after all. With Wi-Fi it’s a powerful mini computer.

Wi-Fi perhaps is the new Holy Grail, and everyone will almost sell their souls to get it. As soon as anyone, especially young people, enters your house and plans to spend any time, the first thing they ask for is the Wi-Fi password. Free Wi-Fi spots in public places are like mini gardens of Eden, as people congregate there like camels to an oasis.

It even affects relationships.

“Why you broke up with him?”

“He had no Wi-Fi in his house.”

Now, with the pandemic, even schools have gone virtual, as the real world of children sitting in a classroom, interacting with the teacher and each other, taking lunch breaks, bathroom breaks, recess playtime, have all ceased to exist, as they’ve given way to the world of Wi-Fi.

It’s a necessary evil, for it keeps the virus at bay, as up to this time, corona cannot penetrate the Wi-Fi world. Some children may like it when it comes to fun and games, but most do not when it comes to online learning, for the natural order of things is for children to interact and play with each other.

There are people who are obsessed with Wi-Fi, especially on their smartphones and literally are slaves to the instrument. They spend countless hours glued to their phones as they have to access every bit of information that Wi-Fi distributes on the various platforms. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was useful information, but mostly it’s useless inane rubbish that people share.

They live on Facebook, as they have to know what other people are saying, then there is WhatsApp, either singly, or WhatsApp groups, which can be quite useful, e-mail which is perhaps a tad old-fashioned, unless it’s for work or business, Twitter and Instagram.

And there are the games, the infernal games that people download and play, all courtesy of Wi-Fi. Because of this, there are people who do not let go of their smartphones, ever, as the Wi-Fi signal has to be ever-present. Wi-Fi signal had better be in every room in the house, including the bathroom. They will sit on the throne and peruse messages or access useless information. If they could shower and access Wi-Fi at the same time, they would. They even sleep with the phones on their pillows, oblivious to the fact that Wi-Fi signals may cause harm to their brains as they sleep.

It’s as if by turning off the phone they will be out of touch with the world, the Wi-Fi world. I tell you folks, when I go to sleep at night, my phone goes to sleep too, and I turn it back on when I wake in the morning.

Take away Wi-Fi and some people literally are like zombies, lost souls.

“Get a grip on yourself, read a book, magazine, newspaper, the Wi-Fi soon come back.”

There’s this joke about this man who sent his friend a message saying, “Hey John, I must confess that I’ve been indulging your wife recently. As soon as you leave your house, I tap your wife and spend countless hours of pleasure and enjoyment.” Well, when the husband read the message he went home and beat the hell out of his wife, only to get another message that said, “Hey John, damn the spell check on my phone, I meant to say wifi not wife.” Ooops.

Such are the affairs, complexities, ups and downs, high points and low points, joy, misery, frustration, entertainment, communication, miscommunication and education that are offered in the Wi-Fi world.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: With all the rains that we’ve been having, and with reports saying that it was the third wettest October in our recorded history, I once again bring up the point of water harvesting and storage. We have seen or experienced the torrential downpours, the flooding, the landslides, the poor victims of all the water that seemed endless, all of which runs to the sea or goes underground, lost forever. Can you imagine how good it would be if we had even one more dam or reservoir to store even a fraction of this water? But no, we still have only Mona Reservoir and Hermitage dam, built from Methuselah was a boy. Even as our population increases. I bet by next March we’ll be having water restrictions again.