Pleasing, pleasuring, satisfying women
All love’s pleasure
Shall not match its woe.
— Shakespeare
In other words, what sweet nanny goat going to run him belly. Men were put on this Earth to cater to women, to please them, pleasure them, satisfy them. At least that’s what some men tend to think, as they spend their days scurrying around trying to accomplish all three.
Is this possible, are men able to achieve all this when it comes to women, the fairer sex, or the sex to be feared? Ironically, women also think that it is they who were placed here to cater to men, but if you really look at it closely, it’s the men who are busy trying to do all this for women.
“Get a better job, earn more money, buy a bigger house, drive a better car,” is all that the men hear from their women, and they break their backs trying to reach those heights in order to please them.
Some may say that it’s a subtle trick that women have managed to pull off, letting the men think that it’s females who are the ones doing their bidding. But if you examine it closely, you’ll see that it’s the pursuit of all three that forces men to do what they do.
To wit, men will always try to win over women by getting them things, whether it be material stuff that women crave, or cater to their needs, paying their rent, paying their bills, giving them cash and other such niceness.
They try their utmost to please women, for ultimately they want something in return, and you know what they say, “Nutten for nutten and sumting for sumting.” Yes, it’s an investment, real or imagined, and the more you put in is the more shall be the returns. At least that’s the theory.
Then there comes the pleasuring and then the satisfying. This all sounds pretty simple and straightforward, but there’s many a slip between the cup and the lip, as we’ll see. Pleasing, pleasuring, satisfying women, right after we see what these readers had to say about my take on the ‘New normal’.
Hi Tony,
It would be interesting to find out what the new normal was when the pandemics of the plagues killed about 75 million people in the 14th century; Spanish flu in 1918 that infected 500 million and killed as much as 100 million, smallpox, tuberculosis, swine flu that lasted almost two years, influenza, 700 million infected with over 150,000 deaths. And while not a pandemic, seasonal flu kills between 290,000 and 650,000 people annually. I believe that only an effective vaccine will take us back to the old normal.
Robert
Teerob,
I remember as a young child back in primary school getting vaccinated for various diseases like smallpox, chicken pox, mumps, measles and polio. I think it was called the BCG if I can recall. Those vaccines took years to perfect and protected us for a lifetime. This new normal will be with us for a while, but we cannot let our guard down, we have to adapt to survive.
Winsome
Every man wants to please his woman, at least most men do, and only if he really cares for her. Ha! Cares for her of course means that he loves her, but that’s man talk. Men do love, but aren’t very comfortable about actually saying it, especially in the presence of other men.
How they show it, though, is by trying their best to please the woman, and this they do by catering to her needs, doing things for her, making sure that she’s comfortable and making sacrifices for her.
To please her he will forego the things that he likes just to make her happy. If he had his heart set on a bigger flat screen LED TV, he will put that on the back burner because she wants a new stove with back, centre and front burners.
Even if they aren’t married or living together, he’ll still try to please her in as many ways that he can. He will cut back on hanging out with his friends, just to spend more time with her. Ironically, in this time of coronavirus, that’s not too difficult, as congregating in groups is not recommended, so he’s basically forced to spend more time with her. That should please her.
“See honey, I don’t hang out with the guys anymore, I’m here to please you.”
“Right, is curfew why you find yuself here.”
What pleases her more is if the man is attentive, caring, selfless, proactive around the house by doing things like making sure that the garbage is taken out before it starts to smell, that the surroundings are taken care of, that her needs are met such as making sure that her car is serviced, licensed, insured and fitness renewed.
That should please her, and as the parson said in his sermon years ago, which resonates with me to this day, “Do the dishes, get some loving.” All those things should please her, which now brings us to pleasuring her, which may not be as cut and dry as you may think. The man can’t cut to the chase too quickly, or she may simply dry up.
Maybe it’s easier for the woman to pleasure the man than the other way around. Perhaps that’s because men have such low standards when it comes to being pleasured. Men basically just want to get to the finish line without all the preamble, the fuss and bother of foreplay and preparation.
“A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou by my side,” is what Omar Khayyam said. But a stiff drink, a stiff resolve and a stiff…is all that a Jamaican man really needs. So for a man to pleasure a woman in the way that she really wants to be pleasured, may just fall outside the ambit of many Jamaican men. It’s a known fact that Jamaican men are good at sex, that’s irrefutable, indisputable. Ask any Jamaican man and he’ll tell you. “Yeah man, I drop it hard, pile on de agony.”
This is borne out by the fact that women the world over seek this talent, and Jamaican men are famous for taking away the women of men from other countries. That’s why they don’t like us and envy us so.
“You Jamaican men does come here and take way our women, we doant like you.”
But having sex and making love, pleasuring a woman, are different things. We see movies, read books and peruse historical documents of men from other countries pleasuring women. The Italians, French, Spanish are all reputed to be great lovers and romantics who know how to pleasure women.
Many are still famous for this, men like Don Juan, Casanova are names that spring to mind. Never in the annals of reading and researching have I seen any reference of any Jamaican man being heralded, honoured and hailed as a great romantic pleasurer of women.
Sure, he knows how to drop it hard, dig out the red, as the song goes, have the wickedest slam, mash it up and breed women in abundance. But to actually pleasure a woman is not in their DNA. You notice I said, their, and not our? There are exceptions to every rule.
Anyway, pleasuring a woman is an art, and like all arts, takes years to perfect. She wants to take time, be caressed, wooed, ruffled with romance, tickled and titillated, stroked, made love to.
“Slow down, you move too fast, you gotta make the moment last,” goes the song.
The sad irony is, perhaps because of this jackhammer big bamboo approach by Jamaican men over the centuries, many of our women have been conditioned to accept this modus operandi, and see it as the norm. Maybe if a Jamaican man tried that romantic pleasuring style of those famous guys with his woman, he’d be met with ridicule or at least surprise.
“What are you doing, is where you learn all that, can’t you just get on with it as usual? I have to get up early tomorrow.”
Ah bwoy, Darwin’s theory of adaptability of species seems to be right on target. We are all products of our generational habits.
If you noticed, I left the best for last, the third goal of men, that of satisfying a woman. Satisfying a woman. Hahahahahahaha. The Bible said something about it being easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a man to satisfy a woman? I must check that out.
That’s a big one, and I am yet to meet a man who has achieved that goal. Perhaps Oscar Wilde summed it up when he said, “As long as a woman can look 10 years younger than her daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.”
More time.
seido1yard@gmail.com
Footnote: ‘Water, water, everywhere’, goes T he Rime of the Ancient Mariner, and we are certainly living up to that with the abundance of rainfall we’ve been having over the past few weeks. We prayed for rain because the drought was on us, we experienced water lockoffs and the farmers were hurting. But be careful what you wish for, as our prayers were answered with overabundance, resulting in flooding, loss of life, destruction of roads and property and the same farmers who were experiencing drought are now reeling from the ravages of flooding. It’s so painful to see the plight of people being flooded out during the deluge. For them, the rain is not welcome at all, even as other people look forward to showers of blessing. Into each life some rain must fall, but Lord, take time with it.