You’ve asked and we’ve answered! Welcome to your weekly column ‘Planning Your Happily Ever After’ with wedding consultant Shikima Hinds, who will each week spotlight all the questions you’ve been asking since COVID-19 was added to the guest list!

Weddings are generally filled with traditional “rules” and etiquette traditions.

COVID-19 has given couples getting married whole new etiquette guidelines to follow.

Strategic planning regarding social distancing protocols, discouraged travel, health and safety for group gatherings present some tough decisions to be made and most importantly the etiquette that comes along with it all.

Many couples and their guests are now faced with uncomfortable and awkward situations for which they won’t easily find the answers for COVID-19-related etiquette questions in a traditional wedding guidebook.

Etiquette for the couple:

Clear communication is key

Provide as much information as possible. Let guests know what to expect at your wedding and what you in return expect from them. For example: Your maximum number of guests, if you expect face masks to be worn at all times, your dance floor rules for social distancing… Telling guests what your celebration will be like lets them know exactly what to expect. This will help them make an educated decision prior to the wedding, rather than be uncomfortable with unexpected surprises.

Don’t be shy to display ‘Wedding Notes’ at the event as reminders for your guests.

Social distancing

Shows your awareness and consideration of guests’ health and safety by being vigilant on ensuring social distancing rules are enforced during the wedding.

Use of face masks

This is something you will need to accept will be a part of your wedding. Yes, I agree it’s not the cutest element for your wedding, but it is what it is.

Guests should be advised in advance on the couple’s approach to this. Decide if you will be supplying masks or you expect your guests to BYOM (Bring Your Own Mask).

You could offer personalised masks with the couple’s initials. This is a great way to make your guests all look uniform if this is important to you.

Hand sanitisers

It’s pretty much a must these days where guest contact and mixing with other people is a big focus. This is the perfect trending giveaway token that is both useful and practical.

Seating plans

More couples are leaning towards seating plans for formal dining receptions. There should be fewer persons seated at a table than is typically standard for each particular table size. Guests from the same household should be seated together, as well as those from the same ‘bubble’. This way individuals will be more comfortable with those in their space. Whatever your wedding layout, make sure the social distancing rule works.

Guest etiquette:

Guests also have etiquette responsibilities that they should adhere to:

Please RSVP

If you are invited to the wedding, please let the couple know if you are attending or not. Their guest count is a big decision. It is very likely you are on a downsized guest list, so let them know as soon as possible if you won’t make it. If you will not be attending, they can reach out to their B-list invites.

If you don’t feel comfortable putting yourself at a risk of catching the virus, you can respectfully decline the invitation, even if you have already responded in the affirmative. Say something polite and don’t go overboard with apologies and excuses.

Gifts

Many guests have asked me what exactly to do about gifts. If you were invited to a wedding that’s been postponed, the couple chooses to have a virtual wedding or elopement, or will not be attending the wedding, should you still send a gift? If you originally planned to do so prior to the pandemic, then yes — you absolutely should.

Be understanding

Respect whatever decisions the couple have made with moving forward with their wedding. They may have other factors you’re not aware of that forced the choices they make. Find unique ways to celebrate them.