You’ve asked and we’ve answered! Welcome to your weekly column ‘Planning Your Happily Ever After’ with wedding consultant Shikima Hinds, who will each week spotlight all the questions you’ve been asking since COVID-19 was added to the guest list!

As we all know, wedding planning is full of stress factors on all sides. Right now, we’re seeing how high emotions can run when postponements and changes are at the forefront of weddings. The originally planned celebrations have been thrown up in the air.

No matter what couples choose to do, it’s likely to be an emotional time as the world faces the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s been a sorrowful time for many couples, watching helplessly as their original dream wedding plans are snatched away.

Imagine a bride or a wedding planner conducting scores of calls with caterers, venue owners, decorators — all to postpone weddings as the pandemic continues.

I’ve heard brides break down in tears over the delaying of their dreams. They’ve been told: “What matters most is getting married and it is the most important part.”

Yes, that is indeed correct, but what also matters is experience of the day — getting ready that morning with your bridesmaids, wearing your dream dress and walking down the aisle to the love of your life, surrounded by your friends and family, eating good food and dancing the night away; for some couples this is just as important as the marriage itself. The emotions they’re going through are still very valid.

Many thought we would have seen the worst part of COVID-19 by now and would be in the process of moving forward, but it isn’t so. A lot of couples had rescheduled their wedding when the pandemic began to flair up, hoping by late summer it would all be over, and now they’re once again pushing back the wedding date.

The support

There’s a general feeling of sadness for couples that their wedding is not able to happen as they planned it. Taking the time to understand the psychology behind the effects of COVID-19 is important. Some say couples are experiencing grief in all five formal stages — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Brides who had to postpone their weddings have turned to each other for advice and comfort with calls or texts with other brides they know; others have turn to strangers on social media to help with the emotional effects in this unprecedented time.

Many anxious brides-to-be turn to online platforms for support and tips. Many read like this:

“Hello everyone! I hope everyone is doing well during these crazy times! Anyways I am looking for some opinions on what people are doing with postponing their wedding or if they are still having it… my wedding is August 11th 2020 and I’m torn as to what to do.”

Within a few hours, that post received nearly 200 emoji-filled comments and replies.

The Facebook group called “Four Weddings and a Virus”, which started when COVID-19 put itself on the guest list, now has over 8,000 members.

Phrases like ‘date shaming’; ‘venue twin’ and ‘spreading false hope’ became a reality in the wedding world.

Grooms are also upset about disrupted weddings; most start with logistics, and then move onto emotions.

Also left jilted are planners, florists, caterers, photographers and other wedding specialists, now scrambling to rebook and come up with alternative services to stay afloat as business forecasts change daily.

While the wedding industry remains in limbo, the industry professionals seem to understand how unfair it feels to have your wedding snatched up by a pandemic.

No matter what, ensure a wedding couple feels as though we’re in their corner, despite the rocky road thus far. Empathy will particularly help them. Support is key.

You’ve asked and we’ve answered! Welcome to your weekly column Happily Ever After with wedding consultant Shikima Hinds, who will each week spotlight all the questions you’ve been asking since COVID-19 was added to the guest list!