The matter of skin bleaching has occupied attention in Jamaica for some time. The issue was brought into relief recently when it was discovered that children from schools in the western region of the island were bleaching their skin.

One school even sent a letter to parents expressing alarm about the issue and asking that children who had bleached their skins remain at home until “his/her original complexion has returned and when it would have been deemed safe for him/her to be integrated into the school population”. This approach by any school is tantamount to taking a sledgehammer to kill a mosquito. It is a draconian response to a situation that demands deeper analysis and attention, especially from a psychological perspective.

A better approach would be to make counselling available to these children. As a marriage and family therapist, one knows that such cases derive greater benefit from therapeutic intervention than the ham-fisted punishment which can further denigrate the person. Such approach does not address the deeper psychological issues that demand exploration. Children do not bleach their skins without underlying reasons for doing so. In many respects it is a function of what they observe in the adult population, even among their parents and other adult family members. They bleach because they want to feel accepted in a society where blackness is derided and the brown skin elevated as a vehicle to social mobility and acceptance. They bleach because this is the way in which they believe they can feel loved and accepted.

Where are the parents in all of this? Where did the kids featured in the St James high school story get the money to buy the bleaching paraphernalia? It is my understanding that these items are not cheap or easily affordable for the ordinary person to be able to buy them on the consistent basis required to be effective. So the parents have to be knowledgeable about the activity that takes place right under their noses. But some of these parents are themselves bleachers and even they cannot overcome the hypocrisy that would be required to reprimand their youngster.

It should be made clear to children, parents and the school community alike that bleaching agents can be very toxic and harmful to the body. These agents contain chemicals that can be injurious to one’s health. It is suggested that they can cause cancers and certainly introduce to the body harmful toxins that can do serious damage. This may not happen immediately, and in the young may take longer to manifest symptoms. But why play with toxins or foreign agents simply to look good to be appreciated? The same can be said of the myriad ways in which the billion-dollar cosmetic industry seeks to enhance the “beautiful” appearance of persons. Breast and buttock enhancements and Botox treatment to the face are just a few ways in which people seek to enhance beauty and ostensibly make themselves attractive to others or to themselves.

I am not here imputing guilt to anyone for doing these things. Neither am I saying that there is anything wrong with this. Call me an old fuddy-duddy, but these things do not appeal to me. Even to stain what is left of my black hair in order to look younger is a non-starter for me. Introducing chemicals to my skin to give the impression of ongoing youth is to me foolhardy and not to be indulged. But each person has to live in his or her own skin, and must do what is necessary to feel comfortable in that skin. But at what expense to one’s pocket and, more importantly, one’s health. Furthermore, to please whom?

If people cannot love you for who you are in the natural presentation of yourself and your integrity as a person then they are not worthy of your love in return. If a person’s love for you is contingent upon how you look then you ought to be suspicious of his or her overtures for love cannot be bought, forced or ambushed.

I may get some negative e-mail here, but no woman, or man for that matter, should subject herself/himself to costly cosmetic rehabilitation simply to please a present or potential suitor. It just does not make sense. You must do it only if you want to, only if it is pleasing to you. You may very well do it only for things to go wrong and then the relationship dies. Furthermore, if an employer can only value your worth as a worker by virtue of the colour of your skin then that employer is not worthy of your talents. Your estimate of yourself, which is what self-esteem is about, should help you to value your self-worth, which should never be for sale.

Children who bleach their skins are crying out for acceptance and a deeper sense of belonging. From very early they must be helped to appreciate self-affirmation and that which leads to wholesome development of the self. This is about self-esteem and is not an abstract goal. Simply showing appreciation for what the child does goes a far way in building self-esteem. Warm praise in the form of a hug or any other form of tangible affirmation that gives the child pleasure can help that child to feel affirmed and to feel comfortable in his/her own skin. It is the absence of this comfort level and the need to feel accepted that will lead someone to change the colour of his or her skin to feel accepted by others.

Killing a child’s self-esteem can come in many ways. Fundamentally, it begins in the home, where unkind words are spoken to the child. If what a child hears constantly are words that demean the person these become a part of his or her collective experience and thus shapes the person’s character. Demeaning phrases such as, “You are good for nothing,” or “You will never amount to anything good,” are abusive and eat away at the child’s value of self. You will notice that in this piece I never use the word “it” in reference to a child. “It” is a neuter gender used to describe things. It may not be of any significance to some people, but a child that is born into the world is a person; as a male or a female. “It” does not and cannot denote personhood which is essential to an individual’s appreciation of his or her sense of self.

It will not be easy to changes the mindset of those who bleach to feel accepted. We have a great deal of work to do in a society littered with the detritus of a colonial and plantocratic legacy of self-denigration and low self-worth. In some rural areas, the white stranger who may even be a fugitive from justice, may enjoy a higher regard among some persons than an upstanding black Jamaican stranger who may barely be noticed. It is likely that the black person will be more readily called a thief than his white counterpart. The colour of the skin may present a greater reason for deference than that of the black person. Children calling each other black and fighting because it is considered a slur word is still a factor to be reckoned with. These are uncomfortable truths with which the society has to reckon.

The work of building self-esteem must start at home and should be an integral part of any parenting curriculum. Values of self-worth must be reaffirmed in the school and in our churches. In the formative years of a child’s life he/she must be positively affirmed by every agency of their socialization. They must be helped to believe that they matter and that they belong and are not isolated atoms in society. If we lose them by our inattention to their needs then we should not bawl when the negative images of self are perpetuated in adulthood.

Dr Raulston Nembhard is a priest and social commentator. Send comments to the Observer or stead6655@aol.com