The sordid plight of women
Dear Editor,
Let it be clarified that violence is not solely about physical harm, there are emotional elements to it. How many times have you had to take deep breaths before going on the street because of (sexual) advances and the onslaught of words to follow should you decide to disregard them? Have you ever had to smile at advances you find offensive because you are afraid of the repercussions if you don’t? How many times have you put on shades and earphones as guards to take you through the streets?
How many times did you have to walk with a man friend, so other men would assume he’s your intimate partner and leave you alone? Because men, you know, “respect” other men. How many times did a male friend/relative have to come and meet you after hours because it was too dark and unsafe for you to walk alone? Have you ever looked into a taxi after hours, see no woman and decide you’re not gonna take it? Do you know what it is like to memorise a wrong name and number to give men who insist they must be able to contact you? To automatically say, “Simone, 111 1111” when your name is Nicky and that number is for a funeral home? Do you know what it is like to have grown, adult men pursue you as soon as you’ve hit puberty and tell you what they can do for you as a little schoolgirl?
Have you ever had to dress down, in baggy clothing, in hopes you’d be too unattractive for “psssts”? And then you run the risk of being harassed as an assumed “lesbian gal”. Have you ever promised someone “likkle sex” and they bring seven of their “bredrin”?
These are the lived realities of Jamaican women and girls, each woman may not have experienced all, but I daresay more than 90 per cent have experienced one scenario I’ve outlined. Women, do not be fooled by men who claim to have no understanding of the things we suffer. If they do not do it themselves, they see it and know it. If you really want to prove that men know and understand what women go through, listen to them warn their daughters about men, listen to them tell you why they don’t want daughters.
Nicolette Bryan
bryann@cardiff.ac.uk