‘Is not me, is dem’
I am writing this week’s column under the heavy manners imposed by my editor who is insisting on a midweek deadline just so, I suppose, that he can get off early for his grand weekend of holidaying and partying.
As for poor old me, this weekend will be a bit of an anti-climax as I thought Christmas had come and gone already. The big fancy parties enjoyed by my editors are things of yesteryear for our part of the world. They have either been cancelled or my invitations have been sent elsewhere. You know when you are getting there. I said it!
But the simple things of life made it a fully enjoyable “week before Christmas”, such as a community carol sing-along, a family outing, breadfruit roasting on an open fire, my Homecoming Foundation party (only a few of us attended but it was great fun), and a few late night TV shows.
Plus, the radio stations seem to have found a few more carols this year. Indeed, our local community-based radio station
GGFM, the good gospel radio, has been playing carols non-stop, including some mento and dinky-mini style refrains combined with the traditional hymns and songs. Thanks,93.1 FM, you have really charged up Christmas in our neck of the woods this year.
As for those late night TV shows, they too are falling in line. Late night TV for me is usually between 8:00 pm – 10:00 pm, after which the TV watches me curled up on the living room sofa. Most times if I can get past the eight o’clock news on a Friday night I consider that a big weekend.
Some folk are complaining about not having Boxing Day rolled into Monday. But that’s how it has always been, a Public Holiday that falls on a Saturday remains on a Saturday. So be content this year with your Friday off for Christmas Day, and I hoped you enjoyed Saturday with its beach picnics, trips to the county, sports, and Caymanas Park.
In the meantime, the West Indies cricket team is having the time of their lives on their paid vacation in Australia. A Boxing Day first day of a Test match has always been a big affair in Australia, and I am sure the West Indies will be hurrying the pace along and doing everything in their power to ensure that the teams get off early with time for partying and sundries.
We lost out on the excitement of a December election but can look forward to an early call in perhaps February or March as we try to beat the budget. Watch out for the opening of the new highway, that should be a clear indication that the trumpet is about to be sounded for the second time around. Besides we are likely to get a good toll-free extension up to election day, giving more people a chance to run with it on the new highway.
As a road runner myself, I have been trying to identify and chart the track that the new road will take across the hills. The are tantalising glimpses of the construction as you drive through Steer Town, and you can also glimpse sections of the enormous limestone and earth movements in between the hills and valleys as you approach Angels. By the way, who misspelt the name Angels on the sign posts erected at the Moneague roundabout. Perhaps they don’t think there any angels in Angels. But stop at that little Jamaican restaurant in the Angels’ Plaza and the service and pretty smiles of the waitresses will convince you that there are really angles around us.
Maybe the sign painters did mean to say “angles” as in ‘sharp angle ahead’ or ‘double angles’, reminiscent of the corner and double corner warning signs that we used to rely on before the National Works Agency removed them for some strange reason.
Who will take the blame for the wrong spelling? You can bet in our Jamaican parlance, it’s not going to be me, ‘is dem’. ‘Dem’ in our language can mean anyone who is not around to take the blame. It’s a beautiful word as it can mean so many things to so many people. For example, the little man driving his cows across the road isn’t going to take any blame for causing a road obstruction. The cows get the cussing, and he makes sure you hear him cussing out ‘Liza’ or ‘Merle’ as that “damn lazy wutliss’ cow a cross the people dem road”. He then hesitates after they are safely in pasture, as if he is waiting for a tip from the driver for his successful road angel behaviour. He says, “Sorry, Sah” and apologises for the inexcusable behaviour and tardiness of the animal. The beast, however, just flicks his tail, leaves us with a parting gift on the road, and moves on.
The Jamaican language and dem, a perpetual excuse to shift responsibility. Dem means a whole heap of things in Jamaica. Is not me, is dem!
I like ‘dem’. Whenever you want to clear your conscience just put the blame on “di people dem”. Is ‘dem’ do it, the anonymous ‘dem’ who have to bear a multitude of sins not of their making, who live down the road, conveniently are never identified.
“Dem” is used frequently and with much jubilation by the politicians. Ask about the absence of water, why a road isn’t fixed, why the dollar is being devalued, and the wrong doing can easily be traced to ‘dem’, the other political party, who when they were in power, “dem never do a single thing”.
There is another word we use and the way in which we use it that makes the Jamaican language unique and unfathomable to visitors. How on earth we have managed to convert the word one into an adjective is beyond me. Like the conversion of the word them to ‘dem’, it is a form of denial. “Don’t’ blame me for breaking the traffic light officer, a one man in front of mek me do it.”
“I wasn’t here when it happened, a ‘one’ man down di road do it.”
Who is this mysterious man conjured up by the Jamaican language that is always to be blamed for miscreant behaviour? Perhaps he is the original person referred to in the phrase, the devil made me do it.
Another favourite of minee is the word ‘up’. Now everyone knows that ‘up’ simply means a certain direction, but we have managed to make ‘up’ mean something really intensive, for example ‘the car get a lick”, is a minor accident, but if it is really smashed then “it lick up bad.” You slip up if you trip, you ‘soak up’ when you mess up, and you get beat up when you suffer a serious beating.
And on that note, I take a break and wish you all a Happy New Year. I sign off now, as I don’t want my editor to have me up. Have a great 2016.
Lance Neita is a public relations and community relations consultant. Comments to the Editor or to lanceneita@hotmail.com