Perfect guy
O heaven, were man
But constant, he were perfect!
— Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice V, 4
THERE’S this movie that was shown at Carib, which is still one of my favourite places, titled The Perfect Guy. Without giving away the plot, all I’ll say is that sometimes women take men at face value, believe the sweet words that they spew out, and then get burnt in the long run.
A word to the wise, there are men who fall into the category of fatal attraction too, sometimes with deadly results.
In many cases, when a man comes on too smooth and suave, saying and doing all the right things, then he’s just too good to be true. And remember what they say, “Whenever something appears to be too good to be true, it usually is.”
Even so, many women wish for the perfect guy, the guy at the top of the emotional food chain. In fact, they spend a good portion of their days and nights yearning for the perfect guy… until they get him and live happily ever after. Sometimes when they regale me with their wishes, I find the whole exercise a tad tedious, as I know what the outcome will eventually be. But, still I listen.
The irony is, these women are by no means perfect themselves, yet they pick, choose, and refuse ordinary guys who have little imperfections, all because they want the perfect guy.
Well, we’ll see if he really exists, and what exactly makes him perfect, right after we see what these readers had to say about ‘What women won’t tell men’.
Hi Tony,
Man, you tell it like it is, women just won’t shut up when you want them to, and they won’t talk when upset or when you need to have a serious discussion on a subject that does not interest them. They just walk away, leaving you standing there alone mumbling to yourself.
Don’t try giving them back the silent treatment either, they will chew your ears off and argue for both of you, then you will be sleeping on the couch wondering what the hell happened.
Gerry
Hey Teerob,
Do you know why women won’t tell men certain things? Because they can’t handle it. Men treat women like porcelain dolls, put them in a cabinet, wanting them to have no past, to be virgins, unsullied, untouched by other men.
She must be his property like a brand new car that no other man has driven. That’s all to boost their egos so they can beat their chests and say, “That’s my property.” That’s why women don’t tell men certain things. It would burst their bubble.
Kimberly
I recently had the good fortune to watch every single episode of the hit TV series, the historical drama Game of Thrones. Yes, all five seasons. It’s truly a great body of work and deserves all the accolades that it’s getting.
Peppered throughout the story was the merging of dynasties by marriage. Kings would marry off their sons to daughters of other kings to form a coalition. Political expediency at work, with no thought to the desires of the betrothed. What was amusing to me was how anxious and nervous the sons were before they met the intended brides, for foremost on the mind was, “I hope she’s pretty.” Nothing else.
Wars were fought because sons backed out of being married to an ugly woman, which only goes to show how seriously men take the beauty of women. “Give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet, or an old trot with ne’er a tooth in her head… nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal,” wrote Shakespeare.
That’s because men are visual creatures, ruled by what they see, and not necessarily what’s behind the beauty. “Beauty itself doth of itself persuade the eyes of men without an orator,” also wrote Shakespeare.
A wealthy man will marry a waitress or a barmaid, if she’s pretty. But no wealthy woman is going to marry a security guard or a taxi driver, even though he may be as handsome as Adonis. I’m not knocking those professions, for all work is honourable, but the plain, hard truth is, women are practical that way, while men are optical, influenced by what they see.
So we come to the perfect guy, who most women want. This perfection hasn’t got to be great in the looks department, for Lord knows, we’ve seen some beautiful women attached to some hideous men, leading us to say, “My word, how did she end up with a toad like him?” Say it ain’t so. You can’t, for it is so.
Women think beyond looks and seek out men who can offer them some form of emotional and, of course, economic security. Most women do not like to hear the latter, but economic security is a prime ingredient in the making of the perfect guy in her eyes.
And guess what? it doesn’t matter how old the woman is either, she’s always on the lookout for the perfect guy. Case in point, I recently overheard this lady in her 60s telling her friend, “I wish that I could get a nice man who would come home from work in the evenings and take care of me.”
Well hello, I thought to myself, “Lady, get real, which man is going to come and take up a 64-year-old woman to take care of?” The reality is, men in her age category only want women in their late 20s or 30s.
I also heard a man telling this desperate lady who’s on the manhunt trail, that he knows a man in a wheelchair who was looking to get married. She said “no way”, as the challenges would be too great. When the guy said that the man was quite wealthy, she changed her tune to say, “Well, marriage is for better or worse, through sickness and health.”
Wheelchair or not, he’s the perfect guy. Just as a sidebar though, I know quite a few disabled people who got married and are living a good life, so it does happen.
So you see what men have to be to achieve the mantle of being perfect. To be the perfect guy, they have to always tell women nice things and, more importantly, provide nice things for them. Even with great lyrics, fantastic manners and good breeding, no man will be perfect in her eyes unless he’s a good provider. Even if he’s built like a troll, a Hobbit, or even Rumpelstiltskin from the fairy tales, as long as he can provide the goodies, he’s the perfect guy.
This fact I have gleaned from not only observation, but by speaking to countless women on the subject. And they know how to play the game too. Don’t deem me cynical, but the facts do stare us in the face, whether we like to admit them or not.
When a man sees a woman, he sees beauty, sex appeal, desire. That’s why men ogle exotic dancers. As long as she looks good, he’s okay. But when a woman sees a prospective partner, she sees not his looks, but how he can benefit her. How he looks is totally irrelevant. And that’s why so many beauties end up with beasts. That beast is the perfect guy, though, for he can provide for her and keep her in a fashion that she grew accustomed to, or at least if not used to it, she can get grow to love it.
Ironically, some guys haven’t got that skill, as I know this young man who was being ‘taken care of’ by an older woman, but blew it by making too many demands. She kicked him to the kerb, where he still resides, destitute.
Living in the lap of luxury is an acquired taste, but alas, ’tis only a dream for most women, as the perfect guy is so elusive, only existing in the romance novels and the movies. The reality is, many of them settle, and end up with ordinary guys, warts and all, laden with imperfections. But that doesn’t stop them from dreaming, though.
Either that or they end up all alone way past their prime, yet still yearning for the perfect guy.
More time.
seido1@hotmail.com
Footnote: It’s football season and I still enjoy going to Manning Cup matches when my alma mater Kingston College is playing. I put on my colours and I cheer. I’m dismayed, though, to see that many teams are not wearing their traditional colours on the field of play. I was so disappointed to see KC playing in all white, St George’s playing in full red, Jamaica College adorned in yellow, and other schools playing in arbitrary colours not their own.
No longer can we tell at a glance who is playing against who. I have no idea why this is so, but the season is still young, so I really hope that it changes. The ‘purples’ are called so for a reason, as are ‘the light blues’ and ‘the dark blues’. Let’s not change the tradition.
Big up, Alia Atkinson, who continues to churn it up in the pool winning three gold in a row recently. She’s our great ambassador in the swimming world.