“Am I going to die?”

This is the most common fear expressed by women diagnosed with breast cancer, according to Jamaica Reach to Recovery Chairman Carolind Graham.

Herself a breast cancer survivor, Graham’s response usually is: “‘Look at me. Look at me’. That is really the first response. People think that cancer is a death sentence and basically you have to reassure them by saying, ‘look at me, I have been there, do I look dead?'”

In a recent interview with the Jamaica Observer, Graham recounted the moment she found out she had breast cancer.

“Most people will tell you that for breast cancer, the person felt a lump and they responded to this lump,” Graham shared. “Well, I did not have a lump.”

She said she was also “very good” as she ensured that she did a mammogram every year after age 45.

“And I thought I was doing well,” Graham told Your Health Your Wealth.

But in 2004, her life changed.

“I did this mammogram every year and in-between 2003 and the mammogram I did in 2004, I was told that they saw little grains like sand in my right breast and they wanted to do a test,” she recalled.

Of course, she said she was curious as to what these “grains of sand” could be and wondered what the doctors were talking about.

“And then they came back and said they did the biopsy and it came back positive for cancer, and I said, ‘you have got to be kidding, I have no lump, what are you talking about’,” Graham continued.

She told Your Health Your Wealth that whe had a meltdown. Graham said she was terrified.

“I got that result. I went to my husband’s office; I sat down and I just cried,” she said. “And he sort of looked at me and didn’t know what to do with this weeping woman in front of him.

“But, the truth is, I have had excellent family support, which is important,” the group’s chairman noted.

She said after she was diagnosed, her physician at the time recommended that she visit Jamaica Reach to Recovery.

Jamaica Reach to Recovery is an affiliate of the Jamaica Cancer Society. Its sole purpose is to provide educational, psychological and financial support for breast cancer patients. The group is made up of volunteers who are also breast cancer survivors.

“So I went to a meeting in October, which was breast cancer month as well. I must confess, I embarrassed myself because I was bawling in the meeting,” she said, explaining that she was embarassed bacause she was supposed to be a mature, strong person.

“And I looked around me and there were normal-looking women in this group, but they were all breast cancer survivors,” Graham related about her first meeting. “So I figured, well, if they look normal and they have done this, I can do it too.”

So in October 2004, she did a mastectomy.

“I didn’t need chemotherapy, so I didn’t lose my hair and all those dramatic things, and I didn’t need radiotherapy,” she explained. “I did hormone treatment for five years and this is now 11 years down the road, and here I am.”

The cancer survivor said because she did not have a lump, she had to remove her breast.

She told Your Health Your Wealth why women are so terrified when diagnosed with breast cancer.

“You see, women tend to be defined by your breasts, you know. Little girls don’t have breasts but women have breasts. So that when you are faced with losing part of what defines you as a woman, it is traumatic,” Graham reasoned. “It takes a bit of wrapping your head around it and some persons never really adjust.

“But it is important to understand that your breast does not define you, or you are not defined by your breast,” she continued. “You are a person and all your faculties remain in place. Everything about you remains in place… if you lose a fingernail you don’t cry, so if you lose a breast you move on.”

She also said that there are prostheses that can be used or women can do reconstruction if they choose.

So, having endured her own battle with breast cancer, a condition that affects one in eight women worldwide, Graham had a message for women in general, newly diagnosed patients and survivors.

“Early diagnosis is important. If you see anything wrong, don’t sit on it, have it checked immediately. Early diagnosis is a recipe for life,” she pointed out. “Breast cancer is an equal opportunity event, it doesn’t respect age, it doesn’t respect social position, it doesn’t even respect race.

“Although it is partial to women, it also affects men,” Graham continued. “My suggestion is do self-examination, make sure that there are no changes in your breast. Changes that you can’t understand or identify, have them checked. You need to know yourself, you need to know how your body feels. In my case, it wouldn’t have made a difference but the average case, it does make a difference and early detection saves lives.”

Jamaica Reach to Recovery meets every second Tuesday in each month at 5:00 pm at the Webster Memorial United Church hall in Kingston.