We love and respect our teachers, but occasionally they can fall into a few humorous stereotypes.

In this week’s teenAGE Top 10 Random, we look at some of the Teachers We Have All Had in high school and maybe even at university.Some of these might be more familiar than others, but have a look around your school and see if you can identify some of these characters.

The Ancient One (aka Long Life)

These silver-haired veterans seem to have been at the school from kingdom come and possibly will be there till’ Shiloh. All the aged alums who stop you on the road can ask “Missa So-and-So still deh-deh?” and you have to answer in the affirmative. They can tell you about teaching your older sibling, that famous alum, and maybe even reminisce about the founders. Who knows, ask them about when Jesus was a boy one day and see what stories you drag up.

The Procreator

Past students will remember them being pregnant, as will you throughout several years. You’ll be shocked when you find out the actual number of children they have whether because it seems so few compared to how often you remember them with child, or just from the sheer number. After all, nine months looks like forever in a teenager’s mind.

The Machine

There is always THAT teacher who is a machine when it comes to giving notes. Fast and furious has nothing on them. And just when you think you can catch up… the top section is erased and the notes just keep coming and coming. At the end of that session, pinky fingers are rubbed smooth, finger corns are tender and you very well might have 20 pages of notes. What was the class about again?

The Complainer

“You first/third/sixth formers are the WORST set I have ever seen!” Sometimes paired with the Long Life stereotype, these characters have the misfortune of every new set of students being the worst set of students ever. How them one so unlucky?

The Informer

Unlike the former two who might very well be lovable, this character seems to have it out for us. We know we can be rowdy sometimes, but none of our other teachers find the need to report the class to the principal for every infraction. Often spotted in the principal’s front office, despite not being in any administrative role, they will often retire to the staff room in a huff even though we thought we were having a decent day behaviour-wise.

The ‘Hot’ One

Appearing in two forms, this ‘Miss/Sir’ is well known through the school as either being popular with students of the opposite sex and/or recognised for that bright red lipstick and high heels or newest ‘Clarks’ or the perpetual ‘darkers’. Their attire may even be transferable from the classroom to the club.

The Punisher

Corporal punishment is outlawed in Jamaica, right? Then why does this educator like to slap students for wrong answers or throw dusters at the kid chatting away at the back of the class? ‘Chu man’! And the only reason we let them get away with it is because they are so fun and good at teaching. Of course, The Punisher may show up in a less desirable form: the one that gives out detentions and demerits for EVERYTHING the rule book dictates. Who does that?!

The Inspector

A nomad and a disciplinarian in one, The Inspector can be seen all over the school, waiting, looking, THERE! They know your name as well as every other student’s name in the school, particularly if you have ever been on the wrong side of any other teacher. If Peter pushed Paul and they almost got into a fight by the benches, trust us, they know about it.

The Fountain

The first few rows of chair of this teacher’s class are always empty, or the students just move their desks out of the drop zone.

The Bredren

Math class can be a bore, (right?!). But if your teacher is a bredren, then you could end up talking about anything but what’s on the curriculum. Football, dating relationships… all are open topics for The Bredren — who can be male or female — and those are the interactions that will really shape what you remember at school.

If you have Top 10 Random topics you want us to explore, send us and e-mail at lifestyle.teenage@gmail.com.