IT was one of those days when life became a tad uncontrolled. I was nearly run off the road by a minibus driver, another drove into the back of my new car and on top of that, I was having a bad hair day. I felt angry.

Anger is natural and can be healthy, but it can also be destructive when expressed inappropriately.

Everyday frustrations, resentment and impatience can cause your temper to flare. Some are able to take these situations in stride, ride with the tide, and quickly return to a sense of calm without exploding. However, if your blood boils after minor irritations or if you are constantly seething, you need to manage your anger.

Anger is both a physiological and psychological process and can affect your physical and emotional health. The evidence is clear – constant chronic anger, aggression and hostility raise your risk of developing heart disease by as much as five times the normal rate.

If you find that you immediately get angry when you have to wait, whether in traffic or at the supermarket checkout, you may be slowly killing yourself. Anger management is not about suppressing anger. In fact, trying to suppress or deny your anger can lead to health challenges like headache, anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, digestion, and skin problems. It may eventually lead to violent eruptions if your anger simmers without an outlet.

Tips for taming your temper

Experts say that different types of anger respond to different strategies. If you are a hothead, try relaxation techniques. If you are the brooding type, changing your thinking patterns may work better for you.

1. For hotheads

* Count yourself calm

Count backwards from 10 in sync with your breath, inserting calming words between numbers. “10 – keep calm, nine – chill out, eight – stay cool…” This interrupts the anger response, allowing you to act more consciously.

* Rehearse your reaction

Practising how to stay calm when you’re not angry will make it easier to do when you are. Counselling psychologist Grace Hughes suggests spending 10 minutes each day visualising a relaxing scene, like a flowing river. Imagine the water gently lapping at your feet. As you relax, notice how your body feels. With practise, you will be able to recall that calm feeling when you start to get angry.

* Agree to disagree

Make a pact with loved ones and colleagues that when tempers flare, you will stop the discussion until you are all more level-headed. If you are afraid that you will avoid revisiting the subject, set a date to continue.

2. For brooders

* Separate observations from evaluations

Your husband comes home from work and without even a nod, passes you cooking in the kitchen. You think, “What’s wrong with this man now? Just wait! I’m going to do the same thing to him.” It is possible that he may not have seen you. Focus only on facts, not your interpretations of other people’s actions.

* Use your words

Anger is often a response to an unmet need. Identifying and expressing that need is a productive way of dispelling pent-up anger. When you begin to brood about something, say to yourself, “I need _____” (fill in the blank). If you can find out what you need in a situation and then attempt to obtain it in a reasonable way, there’s a good chance you will be successful.

* Learn a new language

Icy tones of voice and insulting words are counterproductive ways of expressing anger. Speak calmly about what makes you angry; avoid language that assigns blame, such as “You made me feel abandoned when…” Instead, say things like, “I felt jealous (or anxious or lonely) when…”

Managing anger effectively can benefit you and those around you. Your health may improve and you will feel better about yourself.

Dr Jacqueline E Campbell is a university lecturer and family physician. She is the author of the book A patient’s guide to the treatment of diabetes mellitus.