Expensive meal
A surfeit of the sweetest things,
The deepest loathing
To thy stomach brings.
— Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream II, 2
THERE’S an old Jamaican saying that goes, “What sweet nanny goat a go run him belly.” In other words, many times a delicious meal may just give you a bout of the runs… diarrhoea. There’s also the saying “Is not everything good fi eat good fi talk.”
There are so many sayings relating to eating, including “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” But perhaps the most practical one is “There is no free lunch.” No matter how you think that the meal is free, even if somebody gave it to you, somewhere down the line there’s a cost involved.
That cost may not be apparent to you at the outset, maybe it goes as far back as the person who bought the ground provisions from the market, or the farmer who had to put effort and money into his crops. Those things were paid for. Plus, let’s not forget what may be expected from you after you got that so-called free lunch. Something for something is the name of the game.
This fact was thrust in the face of many men who discovered how eating could be a very expensive venture. Naturally, while enjoying the meal, there is hardly any thought of the costs, until the man is presented with the bill. That’s if he is lucky, for just like how banks do it, there are the hidden service charges that aren’t felt until you really stop and tabulate them.
Expensive meals, that’s what’s on the menu today, right after these responses to ‘Single parents’.
Hi Tony,
Single parents are the heroes of society and deserve a medal. As you pointed out, they have to raise their children without the support, mental, physical and financial, of a spouse or partner. The single parent does not have the same type of life that others do, because after working all day, sometimes holding down two jobs just to make ends meet, they get home to attend to the needs of their children, making sure there is something to eat, helping with homework, making sure they take a bath, and getting them ready for bed before they clean up and drag themselves to bed after a long and tiring day. They forfeit the pleasures of watching TV, or going to the movies or a date whenever they feel like it.
Wickham
Ontario, Canada
Tony,
That article really touched my heart, as I thought that you were writing about me and my situation. I have two children and not one father to speak of. I was abandoned by both men and have had to be everything to my kids. I feel like I’m in prison with no prospect of parole, as my life is an endless merry go round of pickups, drop offs, and bills. But I love my children and that’s what keeps me from going crazy. I’ve come close, though.
Anita
Over the past few weeks, I have been seeing various reports in the media about men getting oral sex and the problems that accrue afterwards. And I’m not talking about health issues either, but more problems of a financial nature. In one case, a guy demanded his money back after the deed because he wasn’t pleased with the lip service.
In another situation, the guy said that it was just too darn expensive and he wasn’t paying anything at all. At least in those two cases, the money was discussed up front, and it was the men who had a problem with the financial arrangements.
But what happens if the favour is reversed, and the woman is the one supplying the meal? And we all know that most men will eat anything that women put in their mouths. So men, be careful if she asks, “Yu eat?” Make sure you clarify and ask her back, “Yu cook?” For that’s where the real crosses begin, for that meal could prove to be mighty expensive, and not a deal for the man.
No wonder that guy posted a photo of himself on the Internet that showed him wearing a T-shirt that said, “The most expensive meal in the world is…” Oh my, use your imagination, perhaps he was referring to potatoes, or patties, or even pumpkins.
But as street-wise men who don’t pussyfoot around the bush, we know how de ting set. “Whap’n Chris, why so sad, cat got your tongue… hahaha?!”
Now, for many people, Christmas meant money being spent, and no matter what your financial status, that little, or great, extra cash was demanded of you. Then came January with the attendant bills — rent, mortgage, light, which naturally increased in December, water, school fee, car licence, car insurance, car tyres perhaps, plus other bills that greeted you in the new year. Every man’s burden is different, but every man feels it.
To add to all that, sad is the man who decides to partake of that forbidden fruit, for that meal will just add to his already onerous expenses. And here’s why.
If he has no woman, his expenses can be controlled, budgeted, kept in check. But no straight man wants to live without female contact. So as soon as he decides to squire and woo a damsel, it’s distress for him, for that’s when his financial challenges begin. Let’s face it, women are expensive, and that’s why some women are classified as high-maintenance. “Stay far from her, she’s a very expensive dish.”
There is no escape, even if there is no sex involved, for most times just looking over the menu can cost you. When he first meets her he has to impress, so if perchance they’re out at the store and she picks up an item, the gentlemanly thing to do is to say, “Don’t worry, I’ll pay for that.”
He’ll do that if he’s looking her. Some women expect this, even though they may be earning far more than the man. A suh de ting set. As you can see, his expenses have begun, even before he has nibbled on the appetiser, the catnip.
After that is the wooing stage, and from way back in the day, women relish this episode, for it was Shakespeare who wrote in As You Like It, IV, 1, “Come woo me, woo me, for I am in a holiday humour, and like enough to consent.” And like enough to consent… that’s what keeps the man spending. Take that anticipation away and see how quickly the cash flow dries up. Wooing does not come cheap, and in fact can be downright expensive.
After that episode, then begins the sex, and that’s where men find it most expensive. For men who have one woman, it’s an expense that maybe he can budget for and control. All this is shattered, however, if he’s involved with the wrong type of woman whose raison d’etre is to spend as much money as she can.
Shopping is a female sport and men are the spectators and sponsors. Yes, some ladies have expressed that men are for one purpose only, and that’s to spend on them.
If the guy is hooked and is a frequent eater, then his expenses will mount rapidly, and, as they say in economic jargon, it’s invisible expenditure. It’s not obvious, not apparent, but it’s an invisible, insidious, leakage of his wallet.
Just a few days ago, I heard a man express on a radio programme that he has had to cut down on the number of women in his life as the expense was crippling him. “Man, I have to stop eating so much, even though it’s an acquired taste, but it cost too much.”
And if you think that the expenses have abated when January ends, just remember that it’s now February, and in a few days’ time it will be Valentine’s Day. Guess who’s coming to dinner, and guess who’s paying? No wonder many men disappear at this time, only to re-emerge after the appetite for flowers and chocolate has been satisfied.
And that’s why that guy said that… is the most expensive meal. Pumpkin, people, pumpkin… or maybe it’s patties. More time.
seido1@hotmail.com
Footnote: Sometimes I will see things in the media and wonder if other people, brighter than me, cannot see it. The most recent was the naming of the schools where a notable percentage of prisoners attended at one time or another. When I saw the newscast I said to my better half, “Uh oh, I expect problems tomorrow.” And so said, so done.
The image of that principal weeping for her school moved us all. The same school that produced a Rhodes Scholar. We know how much damage labelling can do. We have seen reports of young children committing suicide when they discovered that they were being placed in certain schools after taking their GSAT exams. They’d rather die than be associated with that school. And yet, people actually label and publish names of schools that they say turned out a high percentage of prisoners.
Even now, from my school days, I remember one of Bishop Gibson’s weekly talks about the prison boat filled with former high school boys from prominent high schools. But guess what, every school has its demons… and angels.