How Men Should Act
There is no love-broker
In the world,
Can more prevail
In man’s commendation with women,
Than report of valour.
Shakespeare, Twelfth Night III, 2
Ah yes, just report to a woman that a man has valour and she will be drawn to him. It’s a great commendation, as the above quote alludes to. But perhaps that was meant for another time, a different era, a time when words like valour, integrity, honesty, dignity and truth meant something, not only to women, but to all civilised persons. Now people hardly know how to behave anymore, and men in general, hardly know how to treat women. Why this is so is anybody’s guess. Is it that men just transitioned into being coarse, crass and uncouth, or did they simply meet a demand as women started to accept lower standards, resulting in men plunging to the depths, the nadir of behaviour? Whatever the reason, many men do not know how to act or behave around women, and that’s our lesson today, right after these words from the wise.
Well well, Mr Tony,
It’s good to see that you have addressed the issue regarding Tips for Men, as they have to deal with the complexities of women. Nothing is as confusing as a woman, and men do need some sort of handbook to deal with them. But even if you follow all those tips and do all the right things, there is still no guarantee that she will accept you. It’s a game of chance.
Roger
Teerob,
Tips for men, indeed. Hogwash. I thought I was the perfect gentleman. I thought that by doing all the right things and treating the women properly I would have them love me and respect me, but how wrong I was. I read your article, Boss, and most of the things that you recommended I have done. But where did that leave me? Shafted, shafted and shafted again with still no woman who wants a long-term deal with me. I was better off being a roughneck.
Ainsley
Hey Teerob,
I read your tips for men and I laughed, as there is someone else who actually says it better than Teerob for the first time in a long time now. Only maybe he’s a bit biblical. But you gotta admit it, he writes like an expert. Now if only there was a way to get all men everywhere to read it. The guy’s name is Jaeron Ma, check him out, he writes like you.
Simone, Berlin
Now, all of a sudden, every man and his horse, have become an expert at telling men how to treat women, Tips for Men, Act like a Man and How to Behave Around Women, to win their attention and love. Gone are the days when magazines and women’s tabloids dispensed advice to lovelorn and loveless women only, telling them how to deal with men and win them over. What ever became of the great advice that magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Essence, Playgirl and others used to dole out, telling women what to do and what not to do to win the man of their dreams? Now the men have jumped into the estrogen pool and started to advise men, yes men, how to deal with women. What ever became of the cave-man tactics of bonking them on the head and dragging them into their lair? That worked for millennia and mankind is still here. Now they have dragged me into their quicksand, their enchanted forest, down their garden path and had me giving tips to men, too. Yes, me. Well, just when I thought I was out of the water, they pulled me back in, for that lady who wrote that last letter threw down the gauntlet when she implied, suggested, no, said outright that there was someone who was better at the game than me. Poor me, as if I was in some contest or the other.
So naturally I had to see what she was alluding to, so I read what this guy, Jaeson Ma, had to say. His spiel is titled, How Men Should Behave, and he has a five- point instructional handbook that outlines all the great things that men should do and how they should act around women. Well whoopee do, these people keep saying all the things that I have been saying, but women love to hear it from a fresh perspective, not knowing that men will read that stuff, follow the advice with one purpose in mind: to get women. It’s like a wolf getting the details of a rabbit’s modus operandi and using it against him. I always remember this credo that says, “To succeed in life you need sincerity, so if you can fake that, you will succeed.” I don’t recall if that came from one of Murphy’s Laws, or perhaps the Politicians’ Handbook, but I have always remembered it. Scary credo. Anyway, back to this guy Jaeson Ma and his five points to behave around women. He starts out by saying that Men Should Lead. “A man must be a leader in a relationship, in a marriage, in a family. There are no excuses. A woman doesn’t want to make the decisions for her man, she wants her man to lead in the relationship. A man must take the initiative.” When I write that sort of thing I get letters, phone calls and e-mails from women telling me how chauvinistic I am, and how these are the days of equality and empowerment for women and horse dead and cow fat. Women boast that they are in great jobs earning more than men and no man should lead them. But perhaps they only said so because they love to cuss me, but secretly want to be subjugated by a strong man and not a wimp. Who knows?
So naturally I had to see what she was alluding to, so I read what this guy, Jaeson Ma, had to say. His spiel is titled, How Men Should Behave, and he has a five- point instructional handbook that outlines all the great things that men should do and how they should act around women. Well whoopee do, these people keep saying all the things that I have been saying, but women love to hear it from a fresh perspective, not knowing that men will read that stuff, follow the advice with one purpose in mind: to get women. It’s like a wolf getting the details of a rabbit’s modus operandi and using it against him. I always remember this credo that says, “To succeed in life you need sincerity, so if you can fake that, you will succeed.” I don’t recall if that came from one of Murphy’s Laws, or perhaps the Politicians’ Handbook, but I have always remembered it. Scary credo. Anyway, back to this guy Jaeson Ma and his five points to behave around women. He starts out by saying that Men Should Lead. “A man must be a leader in a relationship, in a marriage, in a family. There are no excuses. A woman doesn’t want to make the decisions for her man, she wants her man to lead in the relationship. A man must take the initiative.” When I write that sort of thing I get letters, phone calls and e-mails from women telling me how chauvinistic I am, and how these are the days of equality and empowerment for women and horse dead and cow fat. Women boast that they are in great jobs earning more than men and no man should lead them. But perhaps they only said so because they love to cuss me, but secretly want to be subjugated by a strong man and not a wimp. Who knows?
Then a man has to Provide For His Woman. “That means monetary, in finances, in basic needs as well as what she desires,” says the third advice. Now this sounds all well and good if you’re living in times gone by, but all that does is open some doors that are best left closed, and make some women lick their chops and salivate when they hear the word “provide.” “See it there, the man say that you must provide for me, let me live like a princess, satisfy all my desires and needs.” Some women, you give them an inch, they take not only the ruler, but the compass, the pencil set, the entire stationary shelf and eventually, the mile. Many men wear themselves out trying to provide for their women who sit at home and wait for them to bring home the bacon. Hogwash. In this day and age when women, once again, are bleating for equality, they will still readily and eagerly embrace the philosophy of men having to provide for them. What about sharing? The writer even says, “Treat your woman like a queen, and you will live like a king.” Like I said, that may have worked back in the day, but not now in these times when avarice, greed and licky licky are the catch words of many women.
The fourth rule is Integrity, and I couldn’t agree with him more. He says, “Too many men in our culture break promises, play with women’s hearts, date girls as if it was a game, and have no respect for women at all.” I’m all for that, as many guys really give women a six for a nine. But what about those women who take integrity and honesty for weakness and throw it in the poor man’s face? Some even say, “He was so honest, so noble, so decent, so truthful and open that I was bored with him. Not even parson stay so.” There’s a saying that I often hear race-horse people say that goes, ‘Horses for courses.’ In other words, you choose the horse depending on the conditions. So if a horse is a mudder and loves the rain, you put him in a race that has those conditions. The same applies to women. You don’t bare your soul, pour out your heart, treat her with honesty and integrity if she doesn’t deserve it. I have seen too many men destroyed this way. So you choose carefully, and those who are worthy, you be decent with them and the rewards will be great. Be like that to a sketel and watch how she laughs behind your back. Even the Bible warns about casting pearls before swine…they just don’t appreciate it.
And finally, “Courage,” Jaeson writes. “Men were born to live a life of great adventure, men were created to fight battles, men were created to rescue damsels, men were created to live.” True words, brother, true words. But tell that to the woman who wants to tame her man and turn a mighty stallion into a cart-pulling draught horse. Oh, I know so many men who are corralled and tethered and can only look out wistfully at the real world and say, “There, but for the grace of my wife, go I.” Jaeson even goes on to say, “Women don’t want nice guys and good boys, women want men on a mission, men on adventure, men who are dangerous. This is why women are drawn to bad boys.”
Well, what can I say? People write the same thing that I’ve been saying for years, but because they’re from foreign they get plenty attention. Still, what he says does make a little bit of sense, but perhaps he should spend some time in Jamaica, then revise his thinking. And another thing, my research shows that the author Jaeson Ma was born in 1980, which would make him just 30 years old. He still has a far way to go in the minefield of women and relationships. More time.
seido1@hotmail.com
Footnote: They say that if you want to hide something from young people, put it in a book. That is so true of our current youngsters, but more and more I realise how bad it is. Just last week, I spoke to a university teacher of Literature who told me that in her entire class, 95 per cent of her students have never read a book apart from text books. No Moby Dick, no Tom Sawyer, nothing by Napier, Walcott, no D.H. Lawrence, no Hardy Boys, no Nancy Drew…nothing…nada. And we wonder why they can’t write or speak properly. Even many of our pretty face and handsome media personalities suffer from this and we can see and hear it in their presentations. Ask them what was the last book they read and see the blank response. Never read a book, that’s scary.