University: Relationship Catalyst Extraordinaire
EVERYONE thinks they know how a normal relationship is meant to progress: you meet the person and sparks fly, exchange contact details, possibly meet to go out to the movies or a club, depending on the kind of person that you are.
Over time, you begin to see more of each other, stay up talking on the phone all night (especially if you topped up your phone with $200 credit or more!), hang out together and introduce your friends to each other. As time passes and you decide to make it official, calling each other “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” and pledge to honour your ‘commitment’ and stay true to each other. Those of us who live with our parents normally wouldn’t dare to flounce out one night, saying, “I’m just going to spend the night with Michael!” Some of us would be met with an, “Excuse me?” Others of us would not even bother to try. And, anyway, how many of you would even consider something like that in the beginning stages of a relationship? Would two months in be long enough for you to yearn to wake up next to that special someone?
I find that at university, the relationship progression is more than a bit different: you meet and begin talking to the person. After you have decided that you like them, and they have clearly established that they feel the same, you may go out a couple of times, and things begin to advance in a positive direction. Now, this is the point where things begin to get a bit sticky. It seems opportunity and convenience take over, because one or both of you live on or near campus. Consequently, it becomes only natural that you may have a movie night and end up staying the night or go out to a party and then both of you retire to a room together. Why not? This is what I believe to be the ‘university catalyst’. Why? Because the convenience and new freedom of sharing a room together speeds up the process of how your relationship might have naturally flowed without it and consequently, you may run the risk of being faced with problems that you would have expected later on. Some decide sleepovers are fine after talking to the person after only two weeks!
In my opinion, this is a negative product of the university environment. Cohabitation is something that should only happen when both parties have learnt enough about each other and are prepared to deal with the consequences that deepening the relationship brings. Admittedly, there are some things about your significant other that you will never learn. In fact, there are many married couples that have been together for 50 years and are still learning new things about each other every day. However, one should at least know the basics about each other and these shouldn’t be learned after you begin sharing the same bed.
With such advanced stages of the relationship rolling past so quickly, it may add more of a dispensable element to the relationship. What is left to work for? It seems to me that a relationship with such a foundation becomes more expendable. If these are the norms, then what’s to stop someone from trying to experience the same thing with another person? After all, they wouldn’t have experienced anything they couldn’t from somebody else on campus.
When attending university, it is important not to let newfound new freedom get the better of you. You should still exercise the same self-control you would normally and don’t let the relationship go somewhere you’re not comfortable with before it’s time.