I’m a 36-year-old woman who was recently was put in charge of a small business establishment. I’m competent, intelligent, attractive and a firm but fair boss. I had to work to overcome the flirtations from the male chauvinists and gain my staff’s respect, but once I did, I began to feel invincible. Then, to use a cliché, the dam burst.

I open the store at 10:00 am but I often arrive very early so I can work in quiet. One day I came in at 7:00 am. As I walked in, I was grabbed by two men. They pushed me inside and demanded money, bank cards and even my jacket, which was an expensive one. They bound and gagged me and left me face down on the floor. I did not resist. I’m very athletic but I was tied so tightly I could not get loose. Two hours later, my employees started arriving, only to hear my “mmphs” and find me in a helpless heap. There I was, Ms Perfect, Ms Efficient, lying hogtied. I was mortified and felt all my self-esteem and dignity drain away. Everyone has been kind and consoling, but that hasn’t restored my pride or feelings of authority. That image of me gagged and hogtied on the floor will be imprinted in my employees’ minds forever. How do I regain my old

self-confidence?

Victims often feel embarrassed when they’re found in exposed and compromised positions. You were wise not to fight off the two men because fighting would have brought greater harm to you. Though you feel humiliated that you were found in such a way, your employees are feeling relieved it didn’t happen to them.

If your company doesn’t offer an employee assistance programme, you need to seek counselling on your own to recover from this incident emotionally. Your physical wounds from being tied tightly will heal quickly, but your emotional wounds could manifest into other problems if you don’t seek help. Call a local hospital for referrals to a counsellor or psychologist, and notify your employer of this need. You might benefit from individual and group counselling initially, but that should be determined by your counsellor. You likely do not want to make waves at work (this is part of a victim’s state of mind), but your employer is responsible for financing your recovery. The sooner you openly talk about the incident with medical professionals, the sooner you will be able to overcome the experience and return to being “yourself”.